Ethereal

Chapter 2

White. I'm surrounded by white, a faint ringing in my ears. There are no shapes, no forms where I am right now. Then again where am I? Then suddenly as if I were watching a movie, a screen projected at the forefront, and I saw my mother's tear stricken face. There seemed to be someone in front of her. I could only see his back. 

"Did she do it on purpose?" The words came out as a whisper, as my mother gazed upon the man before her with despair. "She promised. She promised she wouldn't do it again."

I was confused with what I was seeing. The man said something, and as if his part was muted, I couldn't hear what he said. Whatever he had said,  made the light disappear from my mother's face. Behind her, my brother and father were approaching from the end of some hallway. At their footsteps, she turns and I hear her last words. "She's gone," before she collapses on the floor. 

As if those words were the magic words to release me, I felt air enter my lungs. I gasped for air as if I had just reached the surface after being underwater for far longer than anyone should be. My eyes flew open to see the sky above me. My body cold, on top of solid stone -  almost like someone had laid me to rest. I slowly got up, testing my stiff bones. Other than the huge rectangular stone I was on top of, there was nothing else in the field I was in, for as far as I could see in all directions. No trees, no other living thing in sight. It was almost creepily too quiet, and that was when I realized that there was no natural hum of nature in the background. Not even an insect was present. Was this even real grass? I stepped down from the rock, almost reminding me of the scene in Narnia where Aslan was resurrected on top of a broken stone slab. The grass felt real, as I felt it under my toes. Wait - toes? 

I looked down to see my feet bare. Yet, I could barely see my toes for the overly long white gown I was wearing. Where am I? What the hell is going on? 

As my toes clenched feeling the sensation of dirt and grass below me, I could feel my heart start to beat faster. Oh no. I could sense the panic attack before it hit me. This was a dream. This was a dream. Yet, why does it feel so real? This sucks. I'm having a panic attack even in my dreams. I'm hunched over the side of the stone, seeing black dots in my vision as I gasped for air. Breathe. Breathe in...Breathe out...Breathe in... Breathe out...Breathe in...Breathe out 

Hours seemed to have passed as I lay slumped at the bottom of the rock, leaning against it for support. It had to be hours, at least, as I looked up at the unchanging sky. Were the clouds even moving? Where's the sun? I lay there for a bit longer, almost about to fall asleep when a voice broke through the haze of my mind.

"Welcome. You must have been waiting for a while now." 

I looked up to see an elderly woman also gowned in white, with silver locks reaching beyond her waist. I'm not even sure why I thought she was elderly, where there was not one wrinkle on her face. Yet, for some reason I could tell she was old. I could sense the endless amount of years surrounding her, burdening her. "You have quite a lot of thoughts, don't you?" I blinked at her words in confusion. "Do you know what happened to you? Where you are right now?" 

I slowly shook my head. She smiled at my affirmation and with a show of her hands, she swiped one of her hands through the air in front of her. Suddenly, I was no longer in a field but a room. A white room, in the middle of an overly long white hall. The rock I was leaning on was no longer a rock but an overly large off-white crystal glistening everywhere. The worst part, I was in a glass box, a big one, but definitely a box at the center of the room - with the woman looking in from outside. 

"You are not a prisoner. We merely placed you within the glass to study you, as you recuperate." She pointed at the crystal bed, to explain what she meant when she referred to recuperate.

"Who are you? This is a dream, right? What's going on?" My voice was much clearer than I thought. For a second I thought my voice would be raspy and rough. 

"You already know this isn't a dream. It's one of your strengths, your high awareness. To be more clear, you're in purgatory right now."

"Purgatory? You're joking," I replied, stifling a laugh. "That's ridiculous, I would have to be dead..." I trailed off as the uncomfortable memory of what I had seen before I woke up. She's gone. 

"On March 23rd, 8:10 PM while crossing the street you were hit by a car, driven by a drunk driver who didn't stop at the light quick enough. You had a cardiac arrest on your way to the hospital in the ambulance. The doctors, did revive you once, yet once you reached the hospital it was already too late. You're fate already written. You died at 8:25 PM. Right now, the police are trying to rule whether or not to hold the drunk driver responsible for the accident or to rule it as a suicide for your past history with depression. However, that is not important. What's important is for you to know that you have died, at least your human life has. Right now you are in the state of purgatory, neither dead or alive. It's time for you to let go of any strings of attachment you have to your human life before we can move on."

For some strange, twisted reason - I felt as if I was sentenced to my death at that moment as she recited my last few hours in a matter of fact tone. 

"Move on?! To heaven or hell?" I could not hide the panic in my voice. This was bizarre. This was insane. I've officially gone crazy. Yet, the last memories I remember do connect with all she said. I had walked out of the hotel after canceling the engagement and while crossing the street I was hit by a car. Wait no, someone pushed me in front of a car. Then, the voices surrounding me screaming for help, the paramedics calling me - I could remember it all subconsciously. This was not possible. I couldn't actually be dead. 

"Someone pushed me. I was murdered," I whispered. 

"That should not matter to you anymore. Remember, only once you let go - can you move on." 

"Move on? I'm dead. That is the literal sense of it's over. The end." I laughed bitterly. 

"Then what do you think all of this is?"I looked at the woman before me as she gave me a knowing smile. It was irritating.

"You're annoyed," she said. "It's normal to have all these emotions - confusion, anger, panic, pain, sadness, and even annoyance. The tiniest detail grating you, any second, ready to make you explode. My point of telling you this is to tell you that everything your feeling is to show you that you are very much alive. At least the essence of you. The crystal is feeding you and your soul, stitching your form back together that will be of course different since you are no longer human. Of course, if you had truly died we would have sent you to heaven or hell to continue your journey in the afterlife. However, we still need you alive. In fact, I think it's time for you to come out and take a walk with me. Perhaps I can explain better."

The glass walls surrounding me suddenly began to recede into the ground, leaving no trace that they were there. The crystal slowly following them as the light from slowly began to dim. Within seconds, it suddenly became just me and her within the broad, overly bright hallway like room. I looked up at her in awe. What the hell. Is this magic?

"Come," she commanded. I rose, my legs surprisingly not wobbly or cramped at all from the hours I was curled on the ground. I followed her towards the front of the room, where the wall began to fade, leaving a doorlike entrance. I walked through the opening after her to see the last thing I expected. 

Others, like me. Actually no, some looked human. Yet, there were others that looked almost alien. Different people walking the halls of what seemed like a large, expansive building. Some carrying books, others having swords tied to their waist as we saw in movies of warlords, but all wearing this common uniform in red and black. She watched as I took it all in and smiled as she once again spread her arms as if displaying me to everyone in a dramatic manner.

"Welcome to Ethereal."