OBI'M

chapter II - the baby

I thought my heart was done breaking but it kept proving me wrong. 

I could feel the broken pieces pierce my chest as if trying to come out but all I could do was massage that part of my chest with hope that it heals.

I blame myself for this. As if once was not enough, I had to do two extra tests in two different clinics hoping the results would be different. 

I shouldn't have had hope.

I was still lost in thought and did not know how long I sat there until he spoke up.

"Ola, are you okay?"

Raising my head slowly, I looked at him and asked, "What should I do?"

"What should you do about?" He replied.

For the first time, I touched by belly, "My pregnancy."

Leaning forward he looked confused, "Care to explain?"

"Obi - my fiance and I have the AS genotype. What should I do?" I could feel the crack in my voice as I tried not to get too emotional.

"Just to clarify, who is Obi?"

"My fiance. He is my fiance."

"Oh, I see. You are worried that your baby may have the Sickle Cell genotype?"

Nodding my head, I reply, "Yes."

"And you are sure your fiance has done the test?"

"Yes, I am sure." 

Leaning back to his chair, he places a hand on his jaw as if thinking of what to say. "This is why you have been moody since you got here. Now I understand, however you should not worry a lot."

"I should not worry?" I was bewildered, "First of all, my fiance and I have the AS genotype and I am sure you are aware that it's not advisable we get married because our child or children may end up with the SS genotype. Secondly, I am pregnant. Pregnant and unsure if this child would even survive the first few days or months after birth... so pardon me if I am freaking out."  

I tried my best to hold back the tears as I felt the sharp pain on my chest again.

"I am sorry if I was trying to control your emotions but yes you should not worry a lot because there are other options available for you and your fiance."

There it is again. Hope - the feeling of expectation for a thing to happen.  

The doctor just made a mistake of bringing it up but I don't want to hope. I am done hoping that there are no barriers to our love. This just proves that there is.

"I understand your feelings and would like to tell you all about the options available for you and your fiance to choose from."

With a poker face, I say, "Stop. Don't give me hope." I was about to gather my things when he stopped me.

"Please, listen to me and don't give up yet. I am aware that in our society, both your family and religious leaders would be against you getting married to him because of the genes but hear me out... please."

On the surface, I showed no emotion but inside, hope was trying to break free but I was fighting it until I got a text from Obi. As soon as I saw his name, I knew hope had won this round. 

Looking back up, I relaxed and gave a slight nod for him to continue.

Sighing loudly, he asked, "Is Mr. Obi here with you?"

Shaking my head, I reply, "No, he is on a business trip. Do you need him here?"

"It's okay if he isn't here. I trust that you'll share these information with him." He smiled again. 

"It's understandable when people with AS genotype are advised not to get married to people with like genes. This is the only way you can avoid having a child with the sickle cell. Your case is different because you are already pregnant." As if waiting for me to digest the information, he paused for a while. 

"Mm! Please continue."

"Amniocentesis." He said.

"You keep blurting out these medical terms doctor. I have no clue what they mean."

Laughing out loud he shook his head, "I was coming to that. This is a procedure done to check the baby's genotype. It's done from 16 weeks of gestational age, that's four months into pregnancy."

"Oh! So I can come back in three months to check?" I was smiling now.

"Yes, you can but..."

I frowned when I heard a but.

"...the child may have the AA or AS genotype which is good. However, it may be the SS gene and that's what we should talk about." Taking a deep breath he continued, "If it's the sickle cell genotype, you may either choose to keep the baby or hmm."

"Or what?"

"Or you terminate it."