Our Love is Strong.

Chapter Two

*Dan*

The bell for the end of the lesson rings, and my heart sinks just a little bit. I've loved this lesson sat next to Phil, making small talk, discussing maths, and, you know, just being near him. Did you ever really wanna be friends with someone, and their general presence just makes you happy? Yeah, that was this.

Me and Phil aren't in the same friendship group, which is why I value the lessons I have with him so much. My friends are people like Will and Sam - people that like bands and get on with everyone and live on the internet. God, I love them to pieces. Phil's friends are the ones who are looking to go to Oxford and Cambridge, and devote their time to education and purpose. I respect them so much; everyone does. This is why its hard to be friends with Phil though - I just wouldn't fit in. I wouldn't want to drag him down, and he sure couldn't drag me up if he tried. 

But in the moments when we're together in lesson, we're equal. We have the same goal in the lesson, the same time to achieve it and the same means of getting there. All that other stuff is put to one side, and we can be ourselves - talk about TV shows and things that don't really matter, but distract slightly from the bigger picture. Which is kinda what I live for.

Through sitting with Phil for the past few months of college, we've discovered we actually have a lot in common too: I thought music was way below Phil and his friends, but I found out Phil likes Muse, which was the first band I ever went to see with my friends! He likes Sherlock, Doctor Who, he likes reading... its actually scary how similar we are. This is why  I love spending time with him! I truly can be myself, because I know he'll genuinely care about what I have to say.

The bell's ringing slowly comes to an end, and Phil smiles a sweet (slightly sad?) smile and bids farewell till the next day, before turning and leaving. I quietly sigh and head in the opposite direction, trying to decipher my feelings. Thinking about it, I feel like I could talk with Phil more comfortably than I could with Sam or Will or any of the others! And that's so surreal to me since I've known my friends way longer than I've known Phil. But with Phil, something just feels... right.

*Lucie*

Thank God this lesson has finally ended. I kinda regret not paying any attention to the entire lesson (I just had My Chemical Romance blasting into my brain for the whole hour), but I just felt lonely and generally depressed and I'm ready to go home now. To be honest, I'm still quite pissed off with Dan, like he could clearly see I wanted to sit next to Phil, what was the need? I'd say it was malicious, but then again no one, not even my best friend, knows I like Phil so how could Dan know? The only other explanation was that Dan just REALLY wanted to sit next to Phil himself... but that just doesn't make any sense. They're not even in the same friendship group.

I walk out of the school and turn left and start heading down the long road towards my house. I love this walk so much - it really gives my time to gather my thoughts after a long day and clear my head so that I can enjoy the evening. On this particular walk, though, I think to myself: what is there to even sort out? So what if I didn't get to sit next to Phil for one fricking lesson? It does not matter in the grand scheme of things.

Because the thing is, I've already been through this and I've already decided to let this whole thing take a back seat to my education. These two years of college will forge my future and I'm not going to let boys get in the way of that. I really need to get over myself. Plus, Phil's hardly getting anywhere on the relationship front - I think he's of the same opinion as me to be honest, so there's no rush at all. It's not like someone is going to swoop in and sweep Phil off his feet now is it.

The winter breeze flows through my long hair and I can almost feel it carrying my worries away. A smile creeps onto my face and I skip a few songs on my phone till I find my favourite one at the moment - Breath of Life - and I grin even wider. My life is good.

*Phil*

Why did Dan look so glum after maths? I saw something in his eyes again - its been there the past few times, come to think of it. My thoughts are spinning a little bit out of control and I remind myself to calm down and keep my thoughts in check. My parents say I'm a little tough on my self from time to time, they say: "Phil, you need to loosen up now and then and allow yourself a little pleasure - life's not all about grades and careers." and I get that. But why does this phrase come to mind now? Why would thinking about Dan be 'allowing myself a little pleasure'?

I really do love maths with Dan though. Like, a lot. I've only known him a few months, but in that time I've opened up to him more than I have to anyone (of course I'd never tell anyone this). Just little insignificant things, like my favourite band, are kind of a big deal because my friends and I just don't talk about that kind of thing. At all. Ever. It's all text books and EPQs and university personal statements. They're a good influence on me and I'm so thankful for that, but now and again I just want to be... normal. With Dan I can be normal.

So when I turn onto the long road outside of school and start to walk home and see Dan with a few friends walking on the other side of the road, laughing; smiling; I get a little lump in my throat. I want to be that happy. I want to be happy like I am when I'm with Dan.

I just wish he felt remotely similar. If he did we could be great friends...