Welcome to my Life

Part 3

Age 12

My dark humor develops.

I date a guy. I thought I liked him. I sure as hell don't. He tried to kiss me, when i was obviously hesitant. He then continues to get practically on top of me to try to make out with me. I don't stop him. But I stopped him before any tongue action. But I didn't stop him before his hands wondered a bit.

I break up with him, saying I'm just not ready for a relationship, and he is cool with it. Then a week later, says I'm too toxic, and doesn't wanna talk to me anymore. That bitch lol.

I begin to figure out my sexuality. I believe I'm pansexual. I Live in religious household. Have a friend who accepts me.

(Ima have to separate my aunts and uncles from good and bad bc I have so many lol)

My oldest uncle(good guy) got a bad case of dementia after coming out of a small coma. He died not even knowing who I was. The only guy who actually cared enough to speak to me. I didn't shed a tear. Refused to go to his funeral.

Month later-dog dies. Not even a year old, my yorkie runs in front of a car. I watched him die. I punched a hole in the wall. My knuckles were bleeding from going outside to punch bricks later on. I yelled. I didn't cry.

Less than a week later-my grandpa, (who owes me money) (he may have been a jerk, but I still loved him ya know. Neutral when it comes to good/bad) he went into a drug induced coma. He didn't tell us about his heart problems. I was in the room when they turned off the breathing machines. I watched his eyes gloss over. I didn't shed a tear.

2 days before my brothers death anniversary. My birthday was a week later. Happy birthday to me!

I contemplate whether or not I'm Pan, or just gay. I fall in love with a girl. She is also Pan, but doesn't feel the same way about me.

Make a wish. Blow out the fucking candles. I wish I got to say goodbye.

Failed Suicide attempt.

Disclaimer:
This is merely a diary of my lifetime. It will update, to give more information involving my life. I am not to give any accurate names/places due to having no faith in humanity, and fear bc I have overwhelming anxiety. I don't care if you read or not. I just need to put my story out there bc I find it as a sense of relief. Please don't be hateful or compare my life to others. This is merely a vent, and I hope everyone who does actually read this crap stays respectful.

Yeet.