NOSTALGIA. － p.sh + k.hj

+ 01

the steady drizzle of rain is a key
that fits into the lock of many memories,
the smell of wet soil and the dripping of
leaves beckoning past scenes to resurface.
in the arms of another, hongjoong no
longer trembled at their rebirth nor did
he fear them. his partner's hold was
strong, his touch delicate, his chest
warm, and hongjoong could gaze out
the window adjacent to their bed and
watch as droplets trailed down glass,
cutting the dreary grey of clouds
behind them with swords of
diamond, worriless.

it was at said time, when the day was
still young and the weather grim, but
that hongjoong was embraced and safe,
that his thoughts trickled along a path
that soon became a river, his mind
drifting along it like a
plank of wood.

it had been a sunny morning, sky a blue too bright to be real, white tufts of cotton far too sparce to be considered a flaw, and hongjoong and his family had gone to the countryside, a warm place beneath the sun where the grass was a vivid green and the trees swayed to their own tune.

his father carried a cooler that contained the food they'd share for their picnic, his mother held a couple tattered blankets to sit on and an old camera, whilst his older brother was running ahead as hongjoong himself tried to keep up.

they ran and ran, until their cheeks were hot and red and their chests burned with the joy of freedom. they'd battled with long sticks and watched as butterflies and bees fluttered around them, busy with their own work. they'd laughed so much hongjoong's eyes glittered with tears and the sides of his lips hurt from smiling.

and then they'd climbed over a rubble wall and reached a cliff's edge, their parents far behind and their heads addled with a sensation of immortality and mirth.

"let's see how high up we are," his brother suggested, laying himself down on his stomach, uncaring of the stains that would mark his clothes as he used his elbows to pull himself closer to the rim.

hongjoong hesitated a moment, and then he was doing the same, belly scraping soil and forearms turning brown.

"wow! look, joong!"

and the younger's excited face finally peered over the edge, fingers clutching the shards of grass beneath him as his wide eyes took in the view of a still sea below. soft waves caressed sharp rocks, and sunlight brought each one to shimmer as though studded with jewels.

hongjoong was in awe, for he had never seen anything so beautiful before.

"don't you wish we could do like the birds and fly down really quick?"

the boy glanced to his brother who remained grinning at the scene below, enthralled by the sight that seemingly held him hostage.

hongjoong hummed, nodding, because his brother was right, that would be such fun.

"boys!" they startled at the shout that was stitched with panic and tied with anger, "joongie! what are you doing?! get away from there!"

the instant they stood, their mother's arms tugged them to her chest, burying their stunned faces into her neck that swelled with each deep breath, away from the brink of possible death.

"this is all your fault!" she barked at their father who had yet to fully approach them, thin hands still defensively clutching onto her sons, "they could have died!"

"my fucking fault?! you should've been watching them better!"

"i would have if you didn't bring up the case and distract me!"

hongjoong frowned, tentatively stretching his neck to see over the shoulder of his mother his father, whose face gleamed red and irises sparked with rage.

"oh, so it's my fault because i wanted to keep you up-to-date with how things are going? if it weren't for me, your sorry ass wouldn't be able to handle the situation!"

he turned his head away, his heart racing and ears ringing, fear coursing through his veins － and then his brother took his hand and firmly held it.

hongjoong wanted to believe everything would be alright but it wasn't,
because there wasn't you.

》》》

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