Not so broken // JJ outer banks

"It should have been me"

"Who's that?" John Bs voice broke the silence that had fallen over the group at the sight of a dead body being wheeled away.

"That's Scooter Grubbs, he was out during the storm. Check out this pic I got, dead body." Some random girl answered him. I grimaced at the thought of having a picture of a dead guy on my phone. JJ might have picked up on this bc he glanced, before pulling me to the side.

"Hey, you wanna get out of here?" I looked up at him, nervous to say what I truly felt.

"Why would I?" I lied, he could tell.

"Look you're obviously uncomfortable around all this dead people stuff." His eyes didn't waver from my face, looking for any indication that I wanted to leave.

I looked at the ground contemplating my decision before squinting back at him. "You sure your ok with leaving?"

He sighed and gently grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards the car. "Come on, I can tell you don't wanna be here."

Moments later we were back at the chateau. "Alright princess" JJ started, using one of the many nicknames he had acquired for me over the past week or two, "tell me what's going on."

I must have been silent for longer then I thought bc he sat dow next to me and snakes his fingers through mine. "Y/n, you can talk to me. I promise."

Watching his eyes dance across my face with concern, I knew what I needed to do. I didn't want to do it, but I would. "Ya know, you guys never asked me how I got sent to live with kie in the first place." He nodded, signaling for me to continue. "Well, before all of this I had a family. A real one. It was my mom, brother and me. My dad left us when I was a baby, so i never knew him, or even cared to. About 2 years ago, my mom remarried. The guy was...decent. After that it was like my brother was all I had left. He was my best friend, always there for me when I needed it most, helped me through some one the hardest times I ever went through." I paused, scared to tell what came next in the story. "It was the night of my brothers high school graduation. We were all so proud of him and he was so happy. We were driving home and it was dark and storming. I was barely awake in the backseat when suddenly the car jolted to the side. Some drunk idiot had hit us....My brother and mom were killed instantly." My voice broke as I said the last sentence. I paused again, the tears welling up. JJ gave my hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance. "It was my fault." The tears were now rolling down my face non stop. "I made him sit on that side, I don't even remember why! Something petty and stupid. I usually sat on the left, but I insisted on sitting on the right. So when the car slammed into the left side of the car, it was him instead of me." My body was shaking with awful sobs "It should have been me, it should have been me."

My voice trailed off when JJ wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. "No, babydoll don't ever say that. It's not your fault, you couldn't have known. Don't ever say that." I don't know why but the blonde boys voice was the most comforting thing I had heard in a long time. He held me close and I let myself cry.

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