Long Way Down

Part 5

  

Time dragged as I stared at the ceiling. I didn't know how long it had been silent for but the pressure to talk was almost becoming too much for me - I couldn't give in first, even though this was my fault. He had no right to tell me whom I was allowed to trust, these were my judgements to make without having him judging them. 

"If you want to trust him, then I won't go on about it," Evan finally said, shattering the silence. "I won't say anything else about who you trust, but please don't make us sit in silence. This is already bad enough without us not talking."

My lips pursed as I peeked at him. I knew I wouldn't survive the silence for much longer, I hated that we weren't talking, or even making a plan to get out of here. "How can we talk and know they aren't listening?" I asked, the thought popping into my mind as I casted a wary glance around the room. "I want out of here; I don't know how much longer I can last."  

Evan lifted his shoulder and used it to rub his cheek. "You have no idea how much my face is itching right now," he grumbled. 

It was amusing to watch him struggle but I started to feel bad for him when he hung his head and sighed. When my dad had his arm in a cast I had to watch him try to scratch his skin with a fork - no one wanted to use that one for dinner again.  

"I need to pee," I admitted, staring up at the ceiling again. "I have needed to for a while now but I'm not that fond of them taking me or even watching me go. I'm a nervous person when it comes to peeing, if I think someone's listening I can't go then I end up sitting there for ages-"

"You really need to get that talking thing under control." Evan met my gaze and I could almost picture his smile. I didn't see much of it at the party but I could tell he had a handsome smile. "Although it's pretty cute," he admitted, sounding offhanded as he looked away. 

"Apparently I'm dating someone who works for Stephen," I told him, deciding to side step the compliment and focus on getting out. "I doubt it, since the only person I'm... dating is, uh," I hesitated and bit my lip. It wasn't exactly as if we were dating but we weren't exclusive about us... doing it. 

"You have friends with benefit thing going on?" he asked, sounding curious. "You don't seem the type for that sort of thing."

"Well," I paused and thought over the relationship I had with Henry. "I think we have benefits, just not the friends’ thing."

"You just have sex with him on a regular basis?" Evan snorted and shook his head. "You should at least be friends with the guy."

Avoiding his eyes, I turned my head towards the other side of the room and felt my lip wobble. It wasn't my fault that we weren't friends or in a relationship, it was the most I could get out of Henry. I didn't exactly have strong feelings for the boy but only spending time with him without our clothes on started to get... dull, very quickly. 

"Touchy subject?" he asked. The sound of his voice made me look over at him, and I internally cursed when his face softened. I tried to harden my features but it didn't make him look any less sympathetic. "I doubt this is the place to talk, but you can if you want to."

"What do you want me to say? That I sleep with him because he doesn't want to date me? That he only talks to me when it comes to us having sex?" I snapped, I could feel my cheeks heating up as my anger rose. "He's pathetic. And I have no clue why I keep going back to him."

"Because he gives you attention," Evan guessed, cocking his head to the side. "This guy gives you the attention you want, he makes you feel special. It's what guys like him do, they make you feel wanted and they have you thinking it's something wrong with you."