I Wasn't Supposed to Love You

6:The Past

Beomgyu's Pov: 

The fact the Taehyun comforted me after my nightmare made me feel good. Usually no one would comfort me and I would just stay frozen for hours. At least this time I had someone to comfort me. I haven't had a nightmare like this in a while. Especially since it feels like all my dreams are coming true.  Being an Idol  and all has it's ups and downs. Although it seems there are more ups than downs. Yeah there is hate and pressure and all that, but with my band mates and  fans it feels like I can get through anything. The last time I had a night mare like this was back when I still lived at home. My past definitely not the best ever. 

*Flashback*  

"Mom don't leave please!" I pleaded. She had to leave to go on another business trip. I hate when she leaves, I hate being alone with my father. 

"It's ok Beomie," she says giving me a hug, "I'll be back soon I promise." With that she left. I tun around to see my father standing behind me. Oh no this is bad, very bad. 

Warning some graphic scenes being described    

"Go clean the house brat." my father spat at me.

"But I have homework to do..." I said quietly. I feel a slap on my cheek. I fall over holding my cheek . It stings like hell. Tears brim my eyes

"Aw what are you going to cry? Man up. " My father yells. He punched me in the stomach. It hurts so much. I feel as if I'm about to throw up. I bring my knees to my chest. Turning into a little ball. Trying to make myself so small I disappear. 

"Don't ever talk back to me again, " He pulls my hair forcing me to look at him, "Understand?" He growls 

"y-yes father." I respond weakly. he bashed my head against the wall 

"Don't call my father you mistake." He says as he lets go of my head. I feel dizzy as if I'm about to pass out. My stomach hurts like hell, and my head has formed a giant bump. I go to the bathroom to see if we have any pain killers or medicine I can take to make this pain go away at least a little. I start coughing like hell  I look in the sink, my eyes go wide. Blood. Lots of it. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared. I start crying. 

"Are you cleaning brat?" I hear my father yell. I run out of the bathroom to get cleaning supplies 

"Yes sir." I reply loud enough he can hear. As I clean I can feel hot tears stream down my cheek. This happened everyday mom was gone. He would beat me, make me cook and clean, and if I talked back he wouldn't feed me. If my grades were to low he would beat me as well. He had many different ways of hurting me, he would whip me, slap me, punch me, kick me, and if I was really bad he had a spiked bat he would hit me with. He took a baseball bat and glued thumbtacks to it. My back was always covered in little holes and it hurt so much. I only told one person. My older brother. He didn't live with us anymore, and he was a doctor. He would help me with my wounds. My older brother's name was Namjoon. He was married to Jin. My father is homophobic and didn't support it, but since Namjoon was his favourite child he didn't mind it that much. Me on the other hand if he found out I was gay he would hurt me so bad. I've always acted straight to please my father. I do everything I can to avoid a beating. Eventually I started cutting myself. At first it was only one or two, but before you know it my are was full of cuts, and I even started to do it on my legs. It was getting really bad. Until I finally got accepted into Big Hit Academy and was put in the group TXT. I've always loved singing and playing instruments. I finally got away from my father. I made friends with the rest of my band mates right away. I always was close to Taehyun. I fell for him hard, But I had to keep pretending to be straight. The scars in my arms and legs were quite noticeable but I always wore long sleeves. Until one day when it was really hot I finally gave in and wore a tank top and shorts. Taehyun noticed my scars. That day I broke down and told him the whole story of my past. How I would have vivid dreams of the past.  

*End of Flashback*

"You ok?" I look up, it's Soobin. I see the concern in his eyes. He has always been a very considerate leader, and like an older brother to me. 

"Kinda." I mumble. He sits beside me and puts his arm around me. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked me in s gentle voice

"Not right now, just cuddle me." I said quietly. 

"Ok." He said bringing me into a hug. Soobin is a bit bigger than I am so he just placed me on his lap and wrapped his arms around me. I slowly fell asleep hoping to forget everything about my past

"We were planning on going out but if you just want to stay in the hotel that's fine." He whispers in my ear. When I finally woke up 

"I want to stay here." I say quietly. he gently nodded.

"Taehyun will stay here with you." He says after a few minutes. That made me smile 

"Why haven't you come out yet?" He whispers so only I could hear him 

"My father is homophobic." I say quietly. 

"I'm really sorry." He says sympathetically.

"It's ok, eventually I can come out, just give it time." I said. He nods. 

"Babe?" me and Soobin hear faintly. Its Yeonjun

"Sorry, Gyu needed comfort." Soobin said hoping his boyfriend wasn't too mad at him. 

"Its fine." Yeonjun says giving us a smile

"You ok buddy?" He asks me 

"Yes. I'm ok." I reply. Then everyone walks into the room. 

"Here's the plan," Soobin began, "Beomgyu is going to stay here, Tae are you ok with staying with him?" He asks 

"Yea, I'm ok with that." Taehyun said, smiling at me. 

"Ok then it's settled, Me, Yeonjun, and Kai will go out and Gyu and Tae will stay here." Soobin finishes 

"Alright." I say. After all them left Taehyun looked at me and said 

"We need to talk." 

A/N I'm soooooo sorry for taking so long to update. Things have been kinda crazy. Also I'm lazy, but the main reason I haven't updated in a while is things regarding my mental health, so updates might be slow and I'm so sorry about that. I hope y'all understand. Thanks for reading my story. 

byeeeeeee <3