spy: *talking realistically*
scout: *pretending he's paying attention*
scout: took the words right out of my mouth
scout: *coughs the letter o*
spy: what the FUCK-
scout: hey sniper I just realized something
scout: aussie's don't have sex, they mate.
sniper: scout it's 3 am
miss pauling: we need to stop dr grey's robot army and get the australium
scout: wha??
miss pauling, sighing: we need to yeet grey's robo fam and smack that australium back
scout: i got you bro
miss pauling: okay guys just act casual
spy:
sniper:
spy: *stabs sniper*
sniper: WHY THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO THAT-
spy: she said act casual
medic, holding six needles, a large knife, and a gas tank of anesthesia: ugh i cant believe you broke your arm again
scout: doc i dont-
medic: FINE if you INSIST i'll give you quadruple goat legs
spy, realizing he lost scout in the grocery store:
spy finding scout at the entrance: oh, there you are.
scout sobbing on the ground: what's up
pyro handing engineer a burnt cake made out of rotten eggs happily:
engineer vomiting under the table: thank you
scout walking home: MA IM HOME
scout making loud footsteps: I SURE AM MAKING LOUD FOOTSTEPS
scout purposely kicking the vase: WHOOPSIE HOW CLUMSY OF ME
scout walking towards his mom's bedroom: I HOPE I DON'T WALK IN AND SEE SOMETHING THAT WOULD REALLY SCAR ME FOREVER
scout, busting the door open while squinting his eyes and screaming:
scout's ma: jesus CHRIST SPY ISN'T HERE
scout: making my way downtown, walking fast-
spy charging at him from behind pissed off: SCOUT-
scout: walking FASTER
soldier: do you want the good news or bad news first
engineer: good news.
soldier: it's very unlikely that I will ever do it again!
sniper, reading an article about the australia fires:
pyro lighting a tree on fire:
sniper: YOU
demoman back then, kneeling down to a cat: aren't ya the cutest lil thing?
demoman now: the last time i trusted someone, i lost an eye
scout: hey can i go ride my bike outside
spy: idfc i'm not your dad
spy, running outside frantically: ON THE SIDEWALK-
medic: i need to talk to you about your maturity.
scout, pyro, heavy, and soldier on top of the fridge: what about it?
pyro, flaming a whole building on fire while muffling maniacally:
engineer: looks like someone had a bad day
spy staring with fear in his eyes: no SHIT
scout approaching medic: hey doc, i need your help!
medic: i don't have my medi gun-
scout tossing paper and a pencil: i gotta do this health project and i don't know anything about a human body, so can you help me?
medic: *voice cracking* sure.
miss pauling: guys last chance any of you need to use the restroom??
sniper: *shakes head*
sniper, 10 minutes later: *crossing his legs in a tight position while tapping his foot rapidly*
engineer: you okay?
sniper: yep
scout: guys i think i'm finally gonna ask miss pauling to be my girlfriend
the whole team: sure
engineer: *struggling to grab his tool box from the shelf*
sniper: *grabs it and hands it to him* here you go-
engineer: *slaps*
scout high on anesthesia: you know who's my favorite person
spy: who?
scout: tom jones
spy: well you're tom jones' son so that would make sense-
scout: IM WHAT
spy calling scout on the telephone: okay bye
scout: mkay bye dad
spy: what
scout: *immediately hangs up*
scout's ma: how was the camping trip?
scout: HE TRIED TO MURDER ME
spy: HE SAID THE MOSQUITOES WERE BOTHERING HIM, SO I SPRAYED HIM WITH BUG REPELLENT-
scout: MURDERER
blu demoman: we have your son
red spy: i don't have a son.
blu demoman: then who just asked us for a coca cola and made us cut his sandwich into 2 triangle shapes?
red spy: oh my god you have scout
scout: this goes out to everyone here tonight
scout: a potato flew around my room before you came
spy: is this another vine thing oh my god
engineer: what's a 'vai-ne'?
