okay so there's a few quotes here that are based on tf2 ships because uh-
medic: my favorite game to play is, "is my headache from caffeine, stress, lack of proper nutrition, dehydration, lack of sleep, or a brain tumor?"
scout: we only have uno
soldier: im going to cover my naked body with honey
miss pauling: just because you "Ameri-can," doesn't mean you "Ameri-should."
demoman's mom: if you're good at something, never do it for free.
demoman, typing in google: how to sell drunk
sniper: you okay?
scout: imagine if you were at the same orphanage that stuart little was in and seeing a family pick the fucking rat instead of you
sniper, desperately pressing E:
tons of evidence that spy is scout's father without a doubt:
scout: im going to pretend i never saw that
spy: so, you're with sniper
scout: what about it?
spy: he's a pissing machine, you might as well have had sex with a urinal.
scout: hey guys remember when i fought a large crowd of robots in a room by myself?
the team: lol yeah scout you wild card
scout: and then i died and went to heaven for a few minutes?
the team: uh.. yeah..?
scout: heh yeah where the fuck were you guys?
a baby, crying loudly:
medic, picking the baby up while cradling it: aww, don't worry, you'll learn to do that on the inside when you get older
heavy:
heavy: are you mentally okay-
scout: fuck i forgot this english word for something.
sniper: i can help.
scout: okay you know that sea animal that looks like a seal, but fatter, more fleshy, huge ass whiskers, and with like, two sharp teeth thingies hanging out their mouth??
sniper: a walrus?
scout: THAT'S THE BITCH
sniper: gday officer is there a problem?
cop: i'm sorry sir but i'm gonna have to arrest you for driving a van with 8 people inside.
sniper: 8?
the team peeking over sniper's shoulder:
sniper: WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS TELL ME SCOUT FELL OFF-
engineer: when i was small-
the team: pfft, "was"
scout, throwing pebbles at sniper's window:
sniper, texting him: why the hell are you throwing rocks at my window? you have a phone.
loud bang
sniper: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY FUCKING WINDOW
blutarch mann, counting his fingers:
engineer: i just asked how old you are-
blutarch mann: SHUT UP AND LET ME THINK FOR A SECOND-
