not as it seems

wonderland

we reset in a few months. i hope i get transferred to another universe. wonderland is great, don't get me wrong, but it's just too happy here. too "perfect". despite everything i've told you, ironic isn't it? the universe i was directed in is too perfect. too magical. everyone is singing and always making good endings. fairy tales are supposed to have morals, you know, teach the audience a lesson. but in this universe.. they do exactly the opposite. they hide the reality, or maybe they're like this because it's the only reality that they know.

i know you may have some questions. "how do you live like this?" or "how long have you lived like this?". honestly, i couldn't tell you. it's become so normal to me. i don't even know how old i really am. i've always feared death. never knew when it can come. nobody did. so how does it work? i'm pretty sure you're still curious about the way the world i have to live in functions.

when someone dies, depending on which universe you're in, they either erase their existence from your memory or they keep it there. to torture you. sometimes it depends on which universe you're living in, and sometimes, it's because they find out you stop taking your pills. they want you to feel lost in order to fulfill a purpose in this fairytale wonderland, though, they despise those who wonder.

the power of these pills are insane, in my opinion. the dosage they give you per pill just to make you forget about your past life is just so.. ugh. i don't know how they can go on every day, knowing they're ruining us. ruining what they have created. the pleasure of watching us forget just to relive. i want to understand them. i want to understand their ways and point a of views, but it is difficult to do so.

i have tried to talk a few of my friends and family throughout every single body i've had to exist in. it never goes well. they go crazy thinking they'll get sick and take the pills again. losing themselves even more than before.