"nak yung papa mo" Habang sinasabi ni mama yon, tinitignan ko yung buong bahay. Ang gulo sobrang gulo nakabaliktad ang mga gamit at basag-basag ang mga vase namin. "ma? anong nangyari? Where's papa?" I am still confused. "iniwan na niya tayo nak.."
A tear fell down after hearing that. I was hurt and confused at the same time because I still don't know what happened. My mom started talking again while im crying "nakita siya ng tita mo sa ospital may kasamang babae. Naglalampungan daw ito sa office ng papa mo nang makita sila ng tita mo"
Hindi ko na kinaya kahit hindi pa tapos si mama magkwento. I broke down. I'm hurt, really hurt. Bakit ba kailangan pa nilang manloko? I thought if they love you very much, hindi ka nila magagawang saktan. "hindi ito ang unang beses na may nakapagsabi sakin tungkol dito nak" i looked at my mom "nung isang araw ay may nag-text sa akin na unknown number at nagpadala ng photos na nasa club ang papa mo at nakapatong ang babae sa kanya" Ang sakit. Ang sakit sakit. Tatay ko pa mismo ang unang sumira ng tiwala ko. Tatay ko pa mismo ang unang nang-iwan sakin.
I wiped my tears and hugged my mom. I know I am hurt pero what more pa yung impact sa kanya diba? "nak pinigilan ko siya.. nag-makaawa ako sa kanya nak sabi ko kakalimutan ko na lang ang lahat nang nangyari wag lang niya tayong iwan" tangina. Akala ko ay masakit na ang malamang iniwan kami ng papa ko hindi pa pala. Mas masakit palang marinig ang nanay mong nagma-makaawa para lang masalba ang pamilya niyo. Paano niya nagawa sa amin 'to? Paano niya nakakayanang harapin kami sa araw-araw nang may tinatago. My own father cheated and left us. Shit ka, pa.
I tried not to cry and be strong for my mom. Alam kong kaya naming dalawa 'to. Di namin kailangan ng isang basura sa pamilyang 'to. "Ma?" my mom looked at me "I love you, kaya natin 'to okay?" I hugged her once again.
Before I went to bed, I prayed and talked to God. "Lord, this is another pain for me. Is it a new challenge again? Why does my life have to be so painful. Mabait naman po ako as a person and as a child. But despite of everything, Lord please guide my mom and give her strength kahit siya na lang po muna unahin niyo i-heal. She's the only person I have. I can't afford to lose her also. I love her so much. Amen"
I am eating right now at a nearby restaurant with jade and isla. They were chit-chatting about cute guys na nakikita nila sa univ. pero hindi ako makasali dahil iniisip ko ang kalagayan ni mama. I texted her a while ago to check on her then she replied that she's fine and wala akong dapat ika-worry. Pero diba? di naman mapipigilan yon. "Hellooo! Earth to bri?" isla waved her hand at me to get my attention. "huh? why?" I asked them. "I said, yung friend ko from other block asked me kung ano daw number mo. He wanted to say sorry daw para sa nangyari kahapon. Ano ba nangyari ha? Ikaw ha"
Di ako nagkwento sa kanila kung anong nangyari sa family ko kasi natatakot ako pero iniisip ko kung sino yung friend niya na yon. "who daw? can't remember na." I told her habang tinutusok ko yung food ko because wala akong gana. "Well, di mo daw siya kilala eh so I told him na I'll ask muna if okay lang sayo before ko ibigay sa kanya." I smiled na lang sa kanya then nagkwentuhan na ulit sila.
Before we went to our next class, I called my mom muna to check on her again.
[ma? how are you?"]
[nak I told you, okay lang ako. Diba may class ka pa baka malate ka na. Don't worry about me.]
[eh ma hindi naman pwede yon. Oh siya basta kumain na ikaw ha! love u ma take care!]
[yes po ma'am haha love u nak!]
I know I'm being oa sa mama ko pero anong magagawa ko? Di ko siya pwedeng iwanan na lang katulad ng ginawa ng walanghiyang tatay ko samin no.
After our last subject, I went straight home to prepare dinner for my mom. She texted me kasi kanina na maaga daw siya uuwi so I wanted to surprise her. While preparing for our dinner, someone texted me.
from: 0917*******
Hey, It's Dale. The guy who accidentally spilled off the soda sa clothes mo. Just wanted to say sorry :)
to: 0917*******
hey dale, It's fine no worries :)
After that, I finished preparing the food and the dining table. Sakto namang dumating si mama.
"hey ma, i cooked for you" I said while hugging her. "Wow thanks nak. Let's eat na rin" My mom and I talked about a lot of things. We laughed so much that night. It's good to see my mom happy, I really hope she is.
~~~~~
Hey, thanks for reading!
ciao~
