Days have passed after the night that I cooked for my mom. She and I are starting to move on na rin. It's hard lalo na kapag naririnig ko si mama na umiiyak sa room niya, hindi ako laging pumapasok to give her time for herself. Hay why does life have to be so painful?
"hey" someone approached me from behind. "hi uhm do i know you?" he doesn't seem familiar kasi. "You're brielle, right?" I nodded. I wonder who he is. "Hi I'm dale" he smiled. Woah his smile is different you know. "Oh dale? the who texted me. Hey!" I answered him gladly. "yup haha. Why are you here pala?" He asked. I'm in the hospital kasi "I had a check-up with my doctor earlier. How 'bout you?" bago pa siya makasagot, someone called him na. It's his mom ata and sister? I don't really know.
Jade Ashley is calling...
[hello?]
[hey bri where are you?]
[on my way home, why?]
[Isla and I are going to the mall. Wanna come?]
[Uhh no sorry. My mom's alone eh next time na lang]
[oh okay sure! take care]
call ended.
I was feeling tired kasi after having my check-up. Sabi ng doctor ko, in a few months I might go through some chemo na. I'm scared because jade and isla doesn't know about this. Baka magtaka sila bigla akong di pumasok pero I'm scared din kasi baka layuan nila ko if malaman nila yung tungkol sa sakit ko.
Pagka-uwi ko, nagpahinga agad ako. I saw my mom cooking so I didn't disturb her na. This day is so tiring kahit wala naman ako masyadong ginawa siguro kasi stress sa nalaman kay doc hahaha sabi naman nila it should be expected. But you can't just accept cancer nang madalian? I hate overthinking kasi nakakastress ito at wala na kong ginawa ngayon kundi mag-isip nang mag-isip. Wala rin kasi akong mapagsabihan ng mga katulad nito, ayoko na maging pabigat sa nararamdaman ng nanay ko. Ayoko rin naman maging pabigat sa mga kaibigan ko eh di pa naman nila ko ganoon kakilala.
Ang hirap pala ma-expose sa outside world. Andami mong iisipin. Minsan na nga lang, di pa naging maganda kinalabasan hay nako.
*ting* sino naman kaya magtetext sa akin ng ganitong oras?
from: 0917*******
Hey, it's dale again! Didn't had the chance to answer your question a while ago. My sister had a high fever that's why we immediately had to bring her to the nearest hospital.
didn't expect na sasagutin niya pa yon haha dale wag ka ganyan di pa ko ready chor! I never had a boyfriend, obviously. I don't know kung ano yung feeling ng romantic love kasi parents na nga lang nagbibigay sa akin ng love, iniwan at niloko pa ko nung isa.
to: 0917*******
hey dale, di ko inexpect na sasagutin mo pa yon haha. Anyways I hope okay na yung sister mo :) take care always!
matutulog na dapat ako nang magtext si dale ulit.
from: Dale
Yup, okay naman na siya. Hbu? How's your check-up? U good?
yep, I saved his number. I guess we're friends naman na no?
to: Dale
Thanks for checking up on me haha I'm fine :)
We talked and talked that night. That was new? haha I never thought magkakaroon ako ng "late night talks" with a guy. Friends lang naman kami and nagtanungan lang kami about each other. Nalaman ko na sakitin pala yung kapatid niya at kakagaling lang sa dengue. Ang dami niyang na-kwento samantalang ako, nanatiling taga-react lang sa mga kwento niya. Some of them were funny, some were serious. It was a good talk, i'd say.
from: Dale
thanks for making me smile tonight! It was a good one. Goodnight, bri see you tomorrow :)
woah. I can imagine his smile right now and it's making me blush. Bri, stop. Bawal yan bawal ang attachments you'll never know kung kailan ka kukuhanin ni Lord. Stop it.
After his message, I didn't bother to reply na and went to sleep agad. Baka kung ano pang maisip ko pag nagtuloy-tuloy. Wag ganon, bawal yon.
The next day I went to school because I have my PE classes. Even though, im excused sa class na 'to kailangan ko pa rin daw umattend to learn about the lesson. While listening to the professor, I roam my eyes around and noticed something. Oh no no no it was someone. Dale is in my class?? We're in the same subject. Why does my heart beating so fast? Why am I nervous that he might see me? Why? Andaming tanong sa utak ko hanggang sa marinig ko na lang ang bell na nag-ring at lumabas na lang kaagad.
Ang oa ko nakakainis para namang kakainin ako ni dale. Oh no no bad ng pag-iisip ko hay. Buti na lang dumating na si Jade at Isla. Nawala na sa isip ko si Dale hay. Jade and isla wanted to eat snack outside the campus kaya lang tinext ako ni mama sabi niya may sasabihin siyang importante. So after the dismissal, I went straight home.
"Ma! I'm home" I found my mom preparing our snack."Hi nak, come here eat first" sabi ni mama pagkasara ko ng pinto. "ma ano yung sasabihin mo kamo?" I asked her while holding the sandwich she made for the both of us. "Nak, your doctor called earlier nung nasa office pa ako" I bite my sandwich while she continue speaking "She told me na next month, you need to have your chemo na. Sabi niya kasi dapat mas maaga para mas mabilis ding maaagapan" I stopped at that moment. I'm scared and my mom knows that pero alam ko rin namang hindi niya ko pababayaan mag-isa dito. I nodded at her so that she knows I understand what I said. I finished my sandwich and asked my mom if I could walk outside magpapahangin lang. Nag-agree naman siya because she knows what I'm feeling. My mom is the best thing that I have in this world and I know that I can survive this battle knowing that she won't let me go through the journey.
My feet took me to the park where I sat in the swing because it helps me feel relax. The fresh air, the stillness of the area. It refreshes my mind or is it not just me?
I don't want to cry or to think. I just wanted some peace. Until I hear a loud laugh coming from behind me. So I looked behind and I'm surprised that he's here. Oh fate, why are you doing this to me?
It was Dale and his sister. I smiled for a little bit because I watch him show his love for his sister. He seems like a protective and loving brother. How I wish I have a sibling too. A sibling that would protect and love me at all cost. Dale saw me in the swing so he let his sister have some fun time muna and then, he walked towards my direction.
"Hey" he greeted and I smiled. "hey Dale, nice to see you again huh" he chuckled. "haha yea. Taga-dito ka?" He asked me while wearing his goddamn smile. "yep, just a few blocks away from here. How 'bout you?" I replied "Uhm nope, it is my tita who lives in this village. We just came by to say hi." I don't know but I felt relieved when I heard his answer. "Oh okay. Uhm Dale, I gotta go haha it was nice seeing you again" I smiled and waved at him as I walk away from the park.
Well of course, Dale as himself. He waved and smile back. Then there was my heart, beating fast again and then, the famous butterfly feeling is already in my stomach.
~~~~~
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