Repercussions. (Ianthony)

Confessions.

Ian Hecox thought that there was no way he could feel any more depressed.

Well, he thought. 

Because he hadn't spoken to his best friend in a week. Well, they had spoken; filmed videos and put on fake smiles and pretended to laugh, but they hadn't talked. As soon as the camera stopped rolling, they went back to silence; only speaking to ask questions about work. Anthony stopped offering Ian rides; he didn't even say goodbye when he left to go back to Sacramento.

And Ian hated it, because it was all his fault. If he would've just kept his damn mouth shut, Anthony wouln't know the truth: that Ian actually wanted to be with him so incredibly badly. And the damn mixed signals were eating Ian alive, because Anthony clearly wanted no sort of romantic relationship, but he had been the one to make all the first moves on their little night. He had been the one to suggest it in the first place; he'd been the one to fuck his best friend's brains out before whispering to him that he loved him while holding him to sleep in his arms. 

Ian's girlfriend had obviously noticed how down he'd been lately; she probed at him every day and ended up actually begging him to spill his feelings to her. Yet every time she asked, Ian only shrugged, saying he was just tired and stressed from work. But Melanie knew him better than that. 

Although, one night, she was able to pry the truth out of him.

It was late and they were just about to go to bed after yawning through the new episode of The Walking Dead. Ian seemed especially down; halfway through the episode his phone had gone off and he'd formed a rather somber expression after reading the message. And Melanie was tired of it; she deserved to know what was bothering her boyfriend so much.

"Hey, wait," she said as he stood up, gently grabbing his arm and pulling him back down to the couch. "Can you please tell me what's wrong now?"

Ian's gaze instantly averted to the floor, but he knew he couldn't avoid the truth any longer. He loved Melanie, yes; but it was obvious who he... wanted to be with more.

He couldn't live a lie forever. At this point, it seemed as though he would be with Anthony, or he would be with no one at all. And maybe ending his relationship would make Anthony realize that he was serious about what he said when he had been dropped off at the hotel.

"You want the truth? You want me to just spit it out?" Ian took a deep breath as Melanie nodded. "Fine. But you're not gonna like it. So please don't interrupt me until I'm done."

Ian leaned forward on the couch, trying to figure out where to even begin. He decided to truly just spit it out; to not think and just let his brain do all the work. 

Avoiding her gaze, he started talking. And after the first word, the rest of them just seemed to flow out, and he couldn't stop until he had revealed the whole truth.

"Last week, Anthony and I... went out. Like, on a date, I guess. We got dinner and came back home and had sex. And... I don't know how to say this, but we've always sort of agreed that we've like, had feelings for each other, but we're too scared to do anything about them because of how big Smosh has gotten and stuff. But, honestly, we've never even like kissed or anything before this- well, while sober, at least, we don't really remember- but we just decided like maybe going on a formal sort of date would help us figure out what to do. But all it did was make our friendship extremely awkward and I can't even look him in the eye anymore and I'm so fucking guilty because I cheated on you with my male best friend when I know you would never even consider doing such a thing to me. And I love you, I really do, but you have to understand that I can't take this relationship any further when I just had sex with someone I've had feelings for since high school. I'm so sorry and I know I'm the shittiest person in the world, but we have to break up. I just can't do this to you. And I tried to ignore all of it and convince myself that I'm meant to be with you and only you but I can't. And last week I realized that I'm supposed to be with him even if he hasn't realized it yet." He finally looked up at her; her mouth had dropped to the floor and her eyes just looked... empty. "I'm so sorry."

She didn't speak. She didn't even really react; she just stared at him, probably making sure he was serious, before standing up and walking right out the front door.

Ian knew he should have followed her, to at least even make sure she was going to a warm place for the night, but he couldn't move. He just broke up with the person he was planning to marry for Anthony. His best friend. His male best friend; wait, was he even his best friend anymore? 

Ian rested his forehead in his hands, trying to figure out when his life became such a mess. And it was only going to fall on a downward spiral from here; he now had no girlfriend and no best friend to go cry to. He had abandoned most of his other friends for work; he was alone. 

And the worst part? The same three words kept repeating in his head, the words that he still wasn't sure were actually said. They ate away at his mind, threatened to overtake him: "I love you."    

Did Ian love Anthony back, though? He had no idea; half of him screamed that he did, that he always had, but he couldn't believe it. He couldn't love Anthony. He just had some dumb little crush that would someday go away.

Then why had he just broken up with the girl he was about to propose to for him?

And he thought his life couldn't get any worse.