Run

Difference

The thoughts, the demons scratch, pound, tear at my scull. 'Get out!' 'You have to get out!' 'They're going to kill you!' 'You're going to die!' It's all I can take. My fingers scratch the concrete walls. I am a trapped in this screwed up thing someone decided was a smashing idea. Trapped and alone. Not alone. There are the silent ghosts trapped in their bodies who wonder the halls of this cement prison. Their souls are trapped, like me, but up in a box inside their heads. They are just missing until the next mission when the chips are started up and they turning into blood hounds craving for a kill. They don't even eat, at night they are hooked up to the nutrients machines as they sleep. Life is only train and sleep, train and sleep. No one gets sick, no one gets tired, no one complains or retaliates. Well how can you have a revolution if you don't have a mind.
I was sent here as were the rest of us, for government purposes. We are the military, we are the police, we are the heart of the society. If there even is a society. The only people we see are us and the people we kill. Who is to say we are not just killing society. Innocent people dead on our hands. None of us have a family , we don't need one. We come with the memories that family is some fairly tale story but they are not or at least that is what the books say. The books I steal on missions. As I say it gets lonely. The only company are the demons residing in my head. Thriving off my thoughts, my memories, my madness. The pages consist of the most beautiful words and stories, about love, family, and troubles. Good vs evil, I wish real life was that clear everyone thinks they are good and the other is evil. A mess, a maze, a huge maze called life and we are all loaded with a huge steaming pile of shit. Life sucks so why are we here in the first place. Why did some god or insane evolution or hell something called the Big Bang theory put us here to labor through it. It doesn't make any sense.
The screeching sound of the iron doors opening the building to the yard echoes off the cement and bounces around uninvited like a rubber ball. I jump up off the canvas covered mattress that sits in the corner of the room claiming itself the only thing in the room. I station in the teens ward. It's particularly small seeing as one half of the government was trying to shut down the military program at the time. The missing teens walk the halls their chips hidden under the skin on the back of their necks flashing quick strikes of blue rapidly, all of them in sink. I pick at the brand on my arm. When we first get here they brand us with our names. The deep cutting brand entitles my name 'Asia'. They say it was a greatly important, huge continent consisting of many countries. Greatly important and huge would be very suiting words for me. I am tall but skinny. Not like some other teens in the ward which are skin and bone. Greatly important wouldn't be the word ether. If I was greatly important I would be a lieutenant or a controller or I wouldn't have this dysfunctional chip I would be lost like the others. But no, I'm different.
I chase the sunlight out into the yard also cement except the twisted tree. The twisted tree sits in the back corner of the wall. It grew up under the wall the only nonhuman thing here and yet it is the most humane. The twisted tree is not only used by me the government hangs the people like me back her they call me the 'main'. All the other Mains are dead hung on these thick branches. It's terrible and now I'm alone. When I'm back here I can feel them and then I'm not so alone. The last one right before she died said that even though I am only fifteen I can survive. I can live. She was the one who taught it all to me. How to read, why I have to care, why I have to take care of myself because no one else is going to. I pull the brown leather jacket down over my brand, sit down and curl up leaning up against the tree for support. I feel my body drift off, and me sinking into the ground then darkness.
Spring air floods over my face as I run towards it. My hair dances back over my shoulders and my long white dress flutters in my wake. A laugh slips out over my lips. My bare feet squish down smearing the mud everywhere. Then pain. Hot, red hot pain tears at my ribs. Can't breath or maybe I just can't remember. No I am breathing I look down blood spills out staining across my stomach. I stop. I fall. And I'm up, I'm awake.