3 Doors Down » Zarry ✅

7: D on't Be Ashamed

"Last night was pretty fun, huh?" Chanel says.

She's standing naked just inside their bathroom door.

"Yeah." Zayn answers.

"I'm pretty sure that's the most passionate sex we've ever had. I don't think you've ever made love to me like that before."

"I guess there is a first for everything." Zayn shrugs nonchalantly but he knows why it happened the way it did.

He left home to see Harry yesterday because the postman put his mail in their mail slot again. He knew Chanel was going to be home soon with a book of place settings so they could choose the one they liked best for their reception. So he planned to only drop Harry's mail off and leave.

But as he so often did in the presence of Harry, he lost track of time and somehow between when he arrived and a phone call from Chanel asking where he was, he was inside Harry' house, on Harry's couch with Harry's hands down his pants for a little foreplay, leaving him hard and with a very noticeable erection.

He could've stayed and let Harry finish him off. He was sure Harry would have loved to see him ditch his fiancée for a hand job. But he felt it would just be too rude of him to do that. So he rushed home and when he was questioned about it, he came up with some bullshit explanation that he suddenly became horny for her after he dropped their neighbor's mail off.

It made no sense at all so he wasn't sure how she even bought it. But she did. And so last night, he fucked her the way he wished Harry had fucked him. Long and slow and so very passionate.

"Well, it caught me off guard. But I think you should do that more often. It was amazing."

"Yeah..."

When she disappears into the bathroom, he puts his hands behind his head and stares up at the ceiling. Last night it didn't hurt so bad. But now he just feels really guitly.

Of course he still has intimate nights with Chanel. Being with Harry can't change that. Or else it'd be too obvious that he was getting his sexual needs fulfilled elsewhere. But this is new territory for him. He has always cared about her enough not to think about Harry while he's with her. But last night Harry was all that was on his mind.

So right now, he's not sure who he's using more. Harry or Chanel. Because neither of them deserves to have him yo-yoing back and forth between them. Especially not his fiancée. Because she came first.

The routine is always the same the day after. Zayn is so overcome with guilt that he gives himself twenty four hours before he sees or talks to Harry again. But of course Harry never knows he's being purposely ignored. So Zayn usually gets a lot of Are you there? text messages throughout the day before he is finally able to respond.

Zayn isn't dumb. He understands that Harry knows he's still sleeping with his fiancée. But the thing is, he doesn't know when he does it. Therfore to keep from ever having to own up to it, he figures staying away for a period of time is best. The last thing he wants to do is hurt Harry by reminding him that he isn't only his no matter how much he's been trying to make it happen.

After some time, Chanel comes out of the bathroom with a towel in her hands. She's using it to dry her hair.

"I was thinking." She says.

"Yeah?"

"About my trip. I know I said that I'd changed my mind about wanting you to come with me. But I actually do want you to go with me."