Adult Swim

Chapter I

"Come on lil mama why you got to play hard to get with me?" He grabbed my hand and rubbed it gently. I could feel he had potential but I wasn't going for it honestly. Nothing really against him I just couldn't see myself being 'held down' after all, I've been through so much. "A'jai I'm sorry but I can't I have too much to worry about than to just call myself getting into a relationship." I said looking around signaling it was getting late out. "Can I at least have the pleasure of walking you home?" He replied. I hesitated—but it was the least I could do after putting him in the friend zone the way I did. So I said, "sure" giving him a slight smile.
We walked and laughed the entire way home that I noticed—I didn't even realize how charming his words are. How soulful he was. The way he spoke about life and the future...his future!! He actually had such a bright future ahead of himself. His beautiful soft eyes to match his soft careful voice...I thought I had landed a one way trip to heaven. I had found my perfect match before I could even catch myself from falling. We made it to my apartment building. "Thank you for the company," I smiled. "It was all my pleasure." He grabbed my hand and kissed it, making the perfect eye contact. He let go and I could feel myself instantly feel lonely without his touch...his touch—something about his touch. He started to walk back to catch the subway and my mouth started to spill like a faucet before my brain could even process what it was going to say next. "Stay the night!—" I semi yelled out to stop him in his tracks, "please.." he stared at me shocked..then confused, he then replaces his expression with such a joyful smile. What was I saying i only knew him for 7 months and I was already skipping all the bases?
I don't want him for real—right? Maybe I'm just a little high, over the top. I just need company that's all. Before I knew it again I grabbed his hand led him into my apartment. The moment the door shut behind us, I felt my body immediately rebel against my mind as I felt my lips press onto his. I kissed him. Ughh who was I kidding I need him. I needed someone to make me feel like I've never felt before, I needed him. I needed to stop being such an introvert and I always knew that. I need to feel LOVE. I was so young, only 19 years old, but I think and live as if I'm in my 40's. I'm in my prime before it even, I deserved to know what this feeling really felt like.
He picked me up and went back to the only room in my apartment and laid me down. I haven't even lost my virginity and yet here I was laying down looking at the only person who can make my heart feel as if it skipped several different beats. I was going to become a real woman, huh? Am I crazy? Have I lost my mind?! I guess I did because I didn't let the doubt stop me. The pressure as he took the only thing I had to myself alone, was now something that belongs to his name. Was this really what I want? I wasn't sure at all but when was I ever sure about how I feel?
He took it easy...slow and gentle. He was so graceful with the way he touched and loved my body for what it was. I was addicted I must admit and I never thought I could escape that feeling. Something so sweet and lovely—something real.
-Next Morning-
I woke up to the sun beaming through the shaders, following a few barks from the neighborhood strays. But wait—-there's no him. I turned to see nothing but his imprint in the bed...but no person to fill in the space. He...left me. I should've figured he would. *Sigh* I'm so stupid! I started panting and crying, raging in fact. How the fuck could I be so fucking clueless to even think he really liked me?! But—to take advantage of me and then leave? Sweet talking me and then disappear. I'm the one to blame. It's my shame. He saw right through me, through the smile...straight through, pushing past the line..he got me.
-30 minutes later-
I heard a knock at the door that made my body jump, I slowly walked to the door and opened it. There he stood...I can't believe this...he had his hand full of a popular small sub joint scrunched up in his hands—-but his face..it was all bruised up, turning purple by the second. I grabbed him as soon as I noticed and pulled him inside, locking all the locks behind us. "What happened to you?! Are you okay?!" I said sitting him on the couch. "I'm fine...I was just out to get us something to eat since we slept through the morning and out of no where these guys came up to me and started hitting me and punching me." I looked down at his waist to see blood bleeding out of his clothes. I ran and got my first aid kit I use at nursing school and started to clean him up. He groaned in pain as I had to strip him and bandage him up. "Come on. We gotta get you into the shower now okay?"
Why didn't I call the police? Ambulance?  You're probably wondering...honestly I wondered the same thing. Maybe I liked the fact he needed me and he came here first before going anywhere else...
I snapped out of my thoughts...He got into the shower after I set a chair inside so he wouldn't have to stand up. I began to bathe him slowly, not too rough to cause too much pressure and pain for him. I was trying so hard to not be infatuated with his body as he needed me to be serious enough to care for him right now. I loved caring for someone..it was very nice to feel this way...needed.
We made eye contact and I could see the vulnerability in his eyes. Did he feel—-safe with me?