You Were Good To Me

prologue

you know in those movies where is takes the entire time for the two main characters to kiss and start their happy ending despite the fact that the entire time they were obviously into each other and there was so much flirting that you just can't stand it? it even gets to the point where you can feel the sexual tension through the screen?

well, imagine living that. imagine spending years with someone who makes you so happy that you were always scared to admit your feelings even though you knew damn well they shared feelings for you as well.

imagine forcing your friends and family to be those people watching the movie feeling that sexual tension all the time.

can't imagine it? well i can.

i can imagine the feeling of meeting someone for the first time and knowing, even at the young age of 7, that you were going to be best friends for life. having them through every hard time and through all the joys of life.

i can imagine the feeling of walking beside them in highschool at the start of your senior year, the air filled with senior jitters and worries about what people will do once they graduate. feeling the warmth travel from your hand all the way up your arm because you walked too close and your hands lightly brushed one another.

i can imagine the pit in the stomach when they say that they've met someone, and the feeling of having to support them and put a smile on your face because you want them to be happy even if it's not with you.

i can imagine the nights crying into a pillow, having no one to talk to because that person is your outlet for these things but how could you possibly have the guts to tell them how you actually feel?

how can i imagine all of this? maybe because i lived it.

my name is harley, and i spent my entire life beside josh. he surely had me wrapped around his finger, even from my first day at a new school in second grade when he held me as i cried at my desk cause i missed my old school. we did everything together, and we told each other everything.

well, everything except our feelings for each other.

you know how in those movies it seems like the couple isn't going to make it but then at the last moment the person shows up and admits their feelings? well allow me to let you in on a little secret.

while the rest of the movie may be true; living life with someone you love so much but never tell. having those little stolen moments and having all your friends telling you to just shut up and fuck already.

but there is one lie that the movies make you believe.

the timing is never right. there is no 'she's about to get on her flight and leave forever and he shows up right before the plane takes off.' that's just unrealistic.

there is only the truth.

you don't know how much you love someone until you lose them, until it's too late to ever go back and change something. you can sit there and try to figure out what you could have done differently but in the end it never matters and would probably just drive you to insanity.

i'm here to tell you the real life love story where time is never on your side. and when your happy ending never comes knocking. when your beginning is your end.