Anomalies (working title)

Chapter 11

Josephine (Jo)

Jo felt like something was off with Blue. More off than usual, that was. Her anxiety and things fluctuate regularly, something Jo could actually sense, as her emotion-reading was more on the point than her mind-reading. Some would just call it empathy, but Jo could literally feel what someone was feeling. It was strange, like some kind of aura. It radiated off of people in waves.

And right now, Jo wasn't getting anything good from Blue. Heightened stuff. Anger came in sharp bursts. Anxiety was by far the most common one. Loud and clear, she could feel Blue's fear. She had always been more aware of Blue's emotions. She used to think it was because she shared a room with her, or because they were in most classes with each other. But after that kiss, she wasn't as sure.

Trying to put into words what she felt about her roommate was practically impossible. Jo was a being of many words. Stuff rolled off her tongue, or from her fingertips, or pen, almost like water. It came smoothly and quickly. But Blue... She looked into herself, asked herself how she felt, and only got back gibberish. That's just what Blue did. Made her go speechless.

After a nice dinner in the kitchen, Blue excused herself early. Jo didn't know why or how, but something told her not to let her go alone. So she followed her, trying to be as quiet as possible.

What am I doing?

She didn't know. She could hear the overture of The Wizard of Oz beginning downstairs (it was Anna's turn to choose from the old VHS tapes), and she wished she and Blue could cozy up in a pile of blankets and follow the yellow brick road...

Jo stopped. She heard Blue walk into the bathroom, and then the flick of what sounded like a switchblade.

Drip.

What sounded like water on tile. But there was no faucet running.

What the hell is she doing?

Jo crept closer and noticed the door was slightly ajar. She peeked through the crack and automatically gasped at the sight.

Blue was sat on the floor, her arm over the sink. A switchblade in her hands, and the sweatshirt she had been wearing on the ground. The crop top she was wearing showed the thousands of little cuts on her hips, side, and now, arms. She didn't even grit her teeth or make a sound as the blade nicked her arm once more.

"Blue?" Jo asked. Because honestly, some little part of her felt like this wasn't the awkward but happy girl she had known all her life.

Blue's head whipped around, and their eyes met. She had this hollow look to her, but when she saw the horrified look on Jo's face, it turned to anger.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Blue asked, dropping the knife into the sink and attempting to cover her arms with her hands.

"Seriously? You're asking that question?"

"Well, I thought I was allowed privacy in the bathroom, but I guess not," she hissed.

"I was planning on waiting until you walked out, but the door was open. I was checking to make sure you were alright, which you obviously aren't," Jo said, taking a step closer.

"I'm fine," Blue said, reaching down to grab her sweatshirt. Jo snatched it away before she could.

"No, you aren't. Jesus, Blue, I would've helped you if I knew you were hurting like this... Why did you do this to yourself?" Jo asked.

"Because I shouldn't be alive. Because I'm ugly. Because you, the one person I thought cared about me, will never, ever love me the way I do you. Because I don't deserve anything good. Because... Because I wish I wasn't here. Because most days I want to curl up, go to sleep, and never wake up. Because I don't dare to just end it already. Because-"

"Stop. Please, Blue, stop. God..." Jo cut her off.

Her voice came into Jo's head as if it were her own. That happened sometimes when emotions were strong enough.

Why can't she stop? Why does she have to care so much?

"Because... I care about you- Ugh. Let's go somewhere private... I don't want the littles seeing this."

"Seeing what?" Blue was confused now.

"Just... C'mon," Jo grabbed the first aid kit from the cabinet and walked into their room, shutting and locking the door.

Blue's face was a bright shade of crimson as she saw awkwardly on the edge of her bed. Nirvana and Timothy The Destroyer (Jo's cat fish) were playing on the floor happily. Jo sat next to Blue and grabbed her arm gingerly. She grabbed out a thing of gauze and began wrapping said arm.

"I just... I'm sorry I couldn't have helped you more," Jo started. Blue tensed up slightly.

"You didn't know I was being an idiot," Blue pointed out.

"But I'm a siren. It's my job as an emotional reader to see when somethings wrong. Especially with the people I-" Jo stopped, blushing heavily.

She doesn't need to know that yet.

"What were you saying?" Blue wanted to know. Her heart rate had quickened, and she had switched from hollow to hopeful.

Jo willed herself, trying her hardest to delve into Blue's mind... But got nothing but stony silence. She was adamantly guarding whatever she was thinking.

"The people I care about," Jo tried to play off the mistake, finishing up with the first arm and tracing her fingers around to the other. Blue let her hold it and she began to wrap yet again.

"I don't know why you would," Blue said. Jo almost stopped right then and there, wanting nothing more than to give her the fiercest hug and the sweetest kiss in the entire universe so she would feel her love.

"Why do I care about you? Blue, God... You are single-handedly the gentlest, sweetest, kindest, most caring, beautiful, loving person I have had the honor to know."

"But I messed it all up! When I kissed you at the dance-"

"You didn't mess anything up," Jo cut her off. Blue turned to her, confusion riddling her face.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I kissed you," Jo pointed out. "I kissed you even though I knew you were scared. And then when you didn't pull away, I let it happen, and then ignored you for two months. If anything, I messed up."

"I wasn't scared... Not when you were holding me like that," Blue said, her voice small.

"You didn't mind that?" Everything felt so fragile, so delicate... If Jo said the wrong thing now, she wouldn't get another chance.

"I..." Blue was truly speechless. Jo could feel her trying to grab the correct words to say what was on her mind.

"Because Blue... I held you like that, I kissed you... I kissed you because I like you. I like your laugh. I love your hair... The way you tap your pencil in rhythm to the song that's in your head, the way your knee bounces when you're nervous, the look you get on your face when you're concentrating... I even like you when you're hurting. When you wake up from a nightmare and don't wake me because you don't want to worry me, and then when I wake up and ask how you slept you lie, because you still don't want to worry me, but I know you're lying. I like how strong you are, Blue. I like how even though you've been through so much pain, you're still here. You didn't give up. I-"

Suddenly, Jo was trying not to fall off the bed.

Blue had cut her off with another kiss, cupping her hand around Jo's cheek. Jo wrapped her hand around Blue's waist, feeling satisfied at how it just... Fit. Blue pressed against her, her hand slipping around Jo's shoulders. That's how they stayed for a while, their hearts pounding almost as one.

Blue's lips tasted like vanilla, from the ice cream. Her anxiety had melted into euphoria, only boosting Jo's. And underneath all that... A sense of completion.

Finally.

Jo couldn't tell if it was her thought or Blue's, but either way, it fit just fine.