The Second Cuming of Christ

Chapter 2: Electric Boogaloo

Jesus and John arrived at Matthew's party just before sundown. The golden sun shone brightly down on the desert sand, nearly blinding John as he stupidly looked straight at it. Jesus pulled John forcefully by his elbow into Matthew's house in an attempt to save his friend from his own idiocy. Matthew's house could easily be described as a bungalow, built by the man himself with help from his carpenter friend Jesus. It was modest in size, big enough to fit him and his roommate Simon, as well as a big gaggle of gays when need be. The one story house sat on the outskirts of Nazareth on the opposite side of town from where Jesus lived.

Unsurprisingly, Jesus and John were among the first to arrive. Simon and Matthew were setting out the refreshments while James the Greater, known to his friends simply as James, and James the Lesser, referred to as L.J., helped. Bartholomew lounged on the floor flirting with Phillip who looked incredibly uncomfortable. John immediately went over to the hosts, greeting them each with kisses on their cheeks. Jesus casually made his way over to Bart and Phillip, in order to save his friend from a situation he would much rather not be in.

"JC!" Phillip exclaimed, obviously relieved to see his friend.

"Bart, leave Phillip alone."

"Alright, alright," Bartholomew slowly stood, not once removing his eyes from Phillip. "I'm gonna go help our gracious hosts get ready for tonight." When he finally ripped his eyes away from the man sitting beneath him, Bart looked up and down Jesus' body, obviously trying to intimidate his friend as well as check him out.

"Thanks," Phillip sighed as soon as Bart was out of earshot.

"You can just tell him no," Jesus sat down next to his friend.

"I know. I'm just--I'm not sure if I want to tell him no. He's just--he's just so much sometimes. I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"It's--" Phillip obviously hadn't thought about how he felt about Bart's advancements towards him for this long before. "I--I think I might have feelings--like for.."

"Hey," Jesus cut in with a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder. "You don't have to know how you feel but if you don't feel comfortable, you should tell him to stop. Your consent should be the most important thing to a guy you may—or may not be—interested in. If he really wanted you, he'd want your consent first."

"Thanks JC. I think I needed to hear that. I don't want to get into it or bore you with the details but I'm really struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality? Like I might not be as straight as I thought?"

Jesus chuckled at that last statement, "None of us are, buddy. Well, none of us except for Simon." The two men shared a laugh and the worry seemingly consuming Phillip faded away with each carefree laugh they let out. Jesus had that ability. To make people laugh and free them of their fears.

"Howdy heathens," John announced as he came to sit down with Jesus and Phillip.

"John," Phillip rolled his eyes.

"Simon's got plenty of water for tonight, if you know what I'm saying," John nudged Jesus with his elbow and winked in a very unsubtle move that made them all chuckle.

It's common knowledge that Jesus Christ had the miraculous ability to turn water into wine. It's less commonly known, however, that his friends liked to abuse this God given gift for their own enjoyment. It was a cheaper and more efficient way to get drunk as a group, they found. It had also turned into a sort of tradition at their weekly gatherings.

Jesus' friends slowly trickled in as the sun continued to set in the west. Thaddeus entered the party soon after Jesus and John with bottles of water reserved to stay in such a state. He was the friend who always made sure everyone was hydrated during their nights of drinking and getting loose. Despite being the most mature and supposedly stable member of the group, Thaddeus suffered from a condition called "being perpetually single."