The Darkness Within Us

Chapter 9

Anna

My jaw hung open as I gaped at Lorenzo blankly. Everything he told me swam around my head. He was in the mafia, he would be the next leader once his father died or retired. That he had taken me to fulfil a tradition. That I would be his wife. My bottom lip began to tremble. This made no sense. This could not be real. Through all the trials and tribulations that I had suffered through, I had always kept my sense of reality, but this made me question everything. Lorenzo perched on the edge of the large double bed in the middle of the room. I clung to the arms of the chair harder as he began to speak again. "I know it's a lot to take in but you're going to have to accept it, this is your life now. You can never go back. You'll have some time though, we'll wait a while before the wedding."

Wedding.

It was too much for me then, I pulled a deep breath into my lungs and bought my hands up to my forehead as I felt anxiety build in my chest. My breathing became uneven and jagged as I tried to pull the air into my lungs, but the oxygen wasn't enough for me to make sense of what was happening. Rocking back and forth I began to whisper to myself. "No, no, no, this is not happening. It's not real, this is just a trick in my mind that's all."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lorenzo stand. What was that look on his face? Concern? Disgust? One thing was for sure, he had no idea how to deal with me. He moved closer and put his hand on my shoulder. "Anna-." He begun.

I exploded. Hitting and kicking, I thrashed out trying to create space between us. He backed up, not because my actions made him but he must have realised that I needed space. I jumped up so that I was facing him, making sure that there was enough distance between us for me to feel comfortable. "Don't you fucking touch me." I screamed at him. At this point I hardly recognised my own voice. It was strong and had a bitter tone to it. "This is a joke it has to be. You have to let me go, let me go back to my family. You can't do this to a person. It's not right!"

Lorenzo didn't even flinch at my outburst. "Anna, I can do this. I have done it. You belong to the mafia now, to me. You can never go back." Anger took over my body, replacing the fear, as I watched him be so calm as my life crumbled. Before logic took over, I launched myself at him. I scratched, I punched, I kicked whilst hot angry tears streamed down my face. Strong hands encompassed my wrists, preventing me from my attack. Lorenzo pushed me onto the bed, pulled my hands above my head and swiftly straddled my legs. I tried wriggling to set myself free but with no luck. Lorenzo leaned in so close that I could feel his breath on my face. The calm expression on Lorenzo's face had disappeared to be replaced with a cruel sneer. "I am not a good man Anna, you should learn that quickly and remember it. If you weren't a woman and my future wife you would be dead for attacking me like that."

I shrunk back into the bed, trying to create as much distance as possible between us. The darkness in his eyes terrified me. Trying to calm my breathing I looked down at the closeness of our bodies, the way my chest touched his when I breathed in. He moved back slightly and let his eyes flicker to my chest. My lip quivered. "Please don't..." I breathed out, my words so quiet I was unsure I said them out loud, but the way his eyes flickered back to meet mine told me that I had.

"You will be my wife, I wouldn't violate you like that. I may be dangerous but I can control myself until we're married and you come around to your new life." I knew in that moment that I would never accept this life that had been forced upon me. With a shake of his head Lorenzo got up and left, locking the door behind him.

Pulling myself up into a sitting position I scanned the room, my cage. It was decorated in a modern minimalistic style. The whole room was painted white and there were accents of grey everywhere, from the headboard to the vanity unit. The plainness of the room felt cold to me. To my left there was a long floor to ceiling window. Heading towards the window I gasped at the sight in front of me. The window presented me with a magnificent view of New York city. I understood why they called it the concrete jungle. Sky scrapers dwarfed the movement of people below. They looked like ants compared to the giant buildings surrounding them. A wave of realisation hit me, if what Lorenzo said was true then he practically owned this city. There was no escape.

Quickly, I darted through a door that I presumed was the en-suite. I pulled up the toilet seat and emptied the contents of my stomach into the bowl. Standing, I flushed the toilet and moved over to the sink. I rinsed out my mouth and splashed my face with some cold water. I met my own eyes in the mirror above the sink. I was ghostly pale, my eyeshadow that I had worked so hard on last night was smudged. It felt like a life time since I had oh so carefully applied my make-up, excited for my night out with the girls. I wouldn't ever get the chance to see them again.

The anxiety attack that I had been pushing down finally claimed me. A sob escaped from my chest as the room seemed to close in on me. I tried desperately to maintain an normal breathing pattern but it didn't work, I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was dying. I fell to the floor, trying my hardest to focus on small details around me. The cold of the floor tiles, the little swirls in the marble, but all my mind could focus on was that my life was over.

The outfit that I had been so excited about yesterday only seemed to constrict my breathing further. Hyperventilating, I pulled off my leather jacket. I took off my boots and pulled down my skinny jeans. Lastly I pulled my new top over my head. I dragged myself into the shower tray and reached up to turned the knob, causing icy cold water to cascade onto my naked body.

Finally, oxygen began to filter into my lungs and my racing thoughts quieted. I was so exhausted. I was unsure if it was because of the ferocity of my panic attack, jet lag or if the sedative was still in my system.

I heard a knock on the door. "Anna, can you come out?"

I looked over at the door and found that there was no lock on it. I couldn't refuse to go out, Lorenzo would just come in and get me. I turned off the shower and stood up on my shaky legs. "I'll be out in a minute."

I noticed a fluffy white robe on the back of the door and slipped it on. It was a bit big for me but I tightened the belt and knotted it to make sure that it wouldn't come loose. I caught a sight of myself if the mirror and almost laughed. My eye make-up had run and I looked like a panda. I wiped away the worst of it with my sleeve before I stopped myself. Why did I care what I looked like in front of Lorenzo? He should see what he had done to me.

I slipped out of the bathroom door and found Lorenzo standing next to the bed. His eyes travelled the length of my body and I instantly regretted my decision not to take the time to put my clothes back on. He gestured to a tray with a big bottle of water and what looked like a ham sandwich. "I figured you might be hungry." I just nodded, not able to make my mouth form any kind of words. He moved as if to leave but stopped. "I'm not used to people standing up to me. Most of the women I know are submissive and seem to be too scared to talk in my presence. You're somewhat of a paradox to me, a beautiful woman who would attack me like that. I've never came across anyone like you Anna."

I scrunched my face into a frown. "You aren't exactly like the boys I know from home." He smiled slightly at this. A genuine smile, not a smirk. Maybe it was the hint of humanity or the fact that I was too tired for logic, but a wave of bravery hit me.

"Have you ever killed someone?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. He met my stare, his gaze piercing mine. "What do you think?" He replied. I paused and thought about it for a moment. If I was having this conversation with anyone else, any average person I would have shaken my head without a shadow of a doubt. But he wasn't an average person, far from it. "Are you going to kill me?" My voice quivered as I asked this. That's when he got angry.