Scars & Stitches | 𝐻.𝑗𝑠 + 𝐿.𝑓 - COMPLETED ✅-

𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖞 𝖙𝖜𝖔

Jisung pov

"Jisung, I'm worried about you"

Everything stops dead in their tracks, "Oh."

How does one respond to this?

'You have nothing to worry about' That's a lie.

'And I'm worried about myself too' I actually haven't been giving any thoughts to myself.

'But I'm more worried about you' But I've been worried because he's worried???

I just lay there, avoiding eye contact and not knowing what to say.

"I know it's wrong to push you like this... But we're supposed to be in this together. We're a team, we have to work our problems out together. But you won't let me help you cause you're not telling me what's wrong, I don't want you to think that you have to handle this on your own. That's why I'm here"

"I-" I struggle for words, my pride trying to get in the way but I push it back down. If I'm going to get help, I'm going to need to be vulnerable, no matter how much I hate it.

"I guess you're right," I speak softly, not trusting myself to speak louder than a whisper," I- I don't know where to start, there's just too much."

"You don't have to start now, just tell me when you're ready. I know what happened was very... traumatizing," I can tell he's choosing his words carefully as to not upset me, and that soothes me in a way. "But the only way to at least feel a little better is to talk to someone about it"

My hand goes under his shirt to rub his belly. The pads of my fingers softly following the dips on his stomach.

"Well, um..." I try to start but stop to collect myself and my breath. It's now or never, right?

"We don't have to talk right now if you don't-"

"No!" I argue, surprised by my own raised voice and clamp a hand over my mouth, "Sorry.. I just.. It was something we needed to talk about eventually, so why not start now? I guess? Is what I'm trying to say???"

"Are you sure, I don't want you to force yourself"

"I'm sure. I'll just.. start off small. Baby steps, right?" I chuckle to try and lighten the mood, but Felix looks far too worried for that.

"Yeah baby steps, and I'll be here EVERY step of the way"

I giggled at what he said but soon became serious once more.

Serious and VERY nervous

"Well.. erm.. as you know, I grew up in a not so very safe neighborhood, but it wasn't like I could have grown up anywhere else with all the restrictions put on omegas and their families. Everything would've been fine but our neighborhood just happened to be the HQ for one of the big gangs in the city. That's actually how I met Seungmin, he's the son of that gang's leader. It was nice at first.. at least, I thought it was nice. Seungmin and I grew up together. He had a weird obsession with stuffed animals but I didn't mind at the time.

"But as the heir to the gang, his father thought that he should be experienced with things at a young age. The thing was, Seungmin wanted me to be his right hand man, and that meant.. that meant that I had to do and watch the same things he did and watched. Seungmin seemed fine with this, it's how he was raised. But I.." I choke back a sob, wanting to get through my story without breaking down, "I had my innocence and childhood stolen from me at a very young age, Lixie. I- I saw, did, and experienced things I could never wish upon another to see, do, or experience.

"It was cruel what they made me do. I thought that I was doing the right thing. By being a part of the gang, I could protect my mom and my younger brother. My dad had left when I was young, so I had allowed Seungmin's dad to fill that place in my life. It wasn't until I had to- I-" Tears rolled down my cheeks and I cleared my throat, "I did something I don't ever want to think or talk about again. It was at that point that I realized that this is not what I wanted for myself. I was 12, Lixie."

"So I just began to go with the flow. As we got older, Seungmin and I would be sent on our own missions with our own crew, and we did terrible things. It was even harder to continue when I started regressing. It would take all of my energy to stay big in front of the other members, to not seem weak so they wouldn't get rid of me. My little brother, my little Jeonginnie was the only one I could trust with my secret. Mom had already practically disowned me after she learned of my affiliation with the gang. I just wanted to protect them, Lix. I was just doing what they had brainwashed me to do. I could never- I didn't- I did horrible things that should never be done."

By this point in time, I was balling my eyes out once more, but continued on with speaking. I either told this now or I would die with these thoughts in my grave.

Felix held me close and wiped all the tears that came from my eyes. I was so lucky to have him.

"When I found out about this college, I was so happy. Finally, somewhere where I can escape from all of this. To start off new. But when Seungmin found that I was abandoning him, he- he didn't take it well. I managed to get away from.." I choked back another sob at the memories, "I can't go back, Lixie. So when he showed up again, I- I couldn't. I can't tell you everything, I can't do that to you, Just.. please don't leave me. Please don't let me go. I need you, alpha."

I just let myself go, crying in the crook of his shoulder. I held him closer than what should be humanly possible.

I'd never let myself be so open with someone before, not mom, not Jeongin, not even myself. I had kept parts of me trapped for so long. But it felt so relieving to finally set them free. It felt relieving but also scary, but I was willing to put aside my fear and trust Felix. I trusted that he would never abandon me.

He's my alpha after all.

"Look at me" I let him lift my head. "I mated with you jisung, and I knew there was going to be a lot that comes with it. But did I doubt myself thinking it was a bad idea? No I didn't. 'Cause I knew from the get go that I wanted to be with you. No matter what you did or what you've been through. I'm willing to help you through anything and be your crutch when you need me, I want to do any and everything with you no matter the cost."

He slipped his hand under my shirt to rub my belly in soothing motions like he did while I spoke.

"I even want to start a family with you." I widen my eyes but say nothing in response.

"You did what you did and you even admitted now that you looked back on it that it wasn't the best choice you've made, and it happens. That's what people do, make mistakes and learn from them. But I will do whatever it takes to keep you out of harm's way, even if I have to be with you all the time 24/7"

"Really?" I sniffle.

I know that he loves me and I know that what he's saying is true, but there's a difference between knowing and believing, and an even bigger difference from assuming versus confirming.

"Let me know when you need me and I'll always be here for you. That's what I'm here for. I know I'm saying a lot and it's hard to believe it. But I'm willing to prove it" He promises so firmly, who am I to not believe him?

"I just need you here for now," I reply and snuggle into him.

I've never felt so loved and so safe in all of my life. To say that it felt good would be the biggest understatement in all of time and existence.

"Okay baby, and I will always be here. I'm not going anywhere"

I love him so much, I don't know what I'd do if he suddenly vanished. He's what motivates me to wake up in the morning and see him smiling and he's how I want to end my day, with me safely in his arms and kept out of harm's way.

We spend the rest of the day snuggling and kissing away each other's tears.

As the author would say, "Ultimate soft hours are open and they are not closing any time soon"

"Are you feeling better princess?" He kisses the corner of my mouth and then my eyes, and I can't help but smile.

"Now that I'm with you, yes. I don't know what I'd do without you, alpha."

"I don't know what I'd do without you either" I feel him kiss my neck softly, hand not coming out from under my shirt, and we just lay there.

Safe & Secure

Word count: 1583