Look Beyond

Rey woke up with a start, opening her eyes wide in alarm. It took her a few seconds to recognize the room she was sleeping in, and realize she wasn't in any danger. There was little light coming from outside and she could feel the cold wind passing through the tiny windows in the rock of her hut, the one that had once been inhabited by Luke Skywalker.

Rey sighed, sitting up and touching her face with the heels of her hands, realizing she was covered in sweat. She needed air. Grabbing her brown cape, she wrapped herself with it and opened the door, hearing the hinges creak. She had had to improvise a new door since Chewie had busted the old one down when they'd come to find Luke the first time. That door, which wasn't in fact a door but part of Luke's old X-wing, was back on the ship. Rey smiled sadly at the memory and walked out of the hut, closing the door behind her.

Tonight the weather at the temple island of Ahch-To was tolerable. The wind of the night was freezing but at least it wasn't raining. Rey started to walk up the mediocre steps towards the highest part of the island, where the meditation rock was. She started to sweat again despite the wind getting through her cape.

It was becoming a routine for her now, every time she needed to feel closer to him, to her Master. Luke. She'd been calling him through the Force, not even knowing if he might have been hearing her, but it felt so overwhelming to think he was dead, to think all of them were dead. To feel the emptiness they'd left.

To flee to the planet of Ahch-To, the place of the first Jedi temple, had been a decision made on the spur of the moment, but after the rush of the final battle she needed time. She was desperate for peace and quiet, and for time to think, to mourn and to breathe. Finn and Poe hadn't really understood her explanations, they didn't understand why she felt so isolated when everyone was celebrating their victory and acclaiming them as heroes, but neither of them could understand the impact of the losses on her heart. After all, they had also lost people but they were looking forward, while Rey couldn't. Chewie was the only one who understood, he had been around the Force long enough to understand that Jedi simply felt things differently. It was him who convinced the other two to let her go, and him who convinced BB8 to not sabotage the Falcon to prevent her leaving. It had been hard, but she had to go.

By the time she reached the last steps of the island, walked through the ancient cave and saw the rock, tears were already falling down her cheeks at the memory of her friends. She felt like she failed them, but how could she go on? The pain in her heart was too much. She wiped the tears away and sniffled, taking a deep breath before walking slowly towards the seat, almost reverently. This had been the last place of Luke Skywalker on this earth, and to her, it meant the point of convergence. She knew it was all in her mind; nothing connected physically this rock to Luke other than the fact that it was the last place he was before becoming one with the Force. In spite of this, to her it was the place where his spirit met hers, the point where she could feel more connected to him, and it gave her peace of mind. She sat down on the rock, crossing her legs and looking out at the sky.

The twin suns of the planet were already rising and it seemed there would be a clear sky, the clouds were scarce and allowed it to take that deep orange and red colour, just before sunrise. Rey kept herself busy during the day, but sunrise and sunset were usually the moments that she took to meditate and train her mind in the Force. Today she wasn't strong enough though, today she didn't find the serenity that sitting on this place, on this very rock where she'd received her first lesson, brought her. Today, she only felt loneliness and despair. Emptiness.

"Luke..." she whispered hesitantly, almost afraid. She didn't know if it was possible, but she felt desperate enough to call him into the cold wind of the early morning.

She waited, and waited. And then, nothing.

She was alone.

She sighed, looking down at her hands and watching how her tears fell down her cheeks and onto her lap. There was nothing else she could do. She closed her eyes and focused, ready to let it all go.