Homestuck one shot collection

Welcome to Condy's (Chixie x Reader)

Please save me Homestuck just came out of nowhere and dragged me back down (And this may or may not be a fucking rant piece because I will never get over how awful working Fast Food was) Also yeah I know this was hardly a Chixie story but I will do something better for her later

-

"Welcome to Condy's, how may I take your order?"

"Ah, yes, I'd like... Ummmmmmm..." Oh my god listen just fucking order and go, the line behind you, lady, is looking angrier and angrier the longer this troll takes. And honestly? After the LAST riot you had to deal with? You're not paid NEARLY enough to clean up all the blood those purplebloods can draw. "What's in the number one combo?"

"Oh, well on the sandwich it has-"

"No no, like... What comes in the combo?"

"Oh... Oh! Yes, the combos all come with grubfries and a drink."

"Okay... Ummmmmm..." Oh my god please, just please order. "What comes in the number two combo?"

"On the sandwich..?"

"No," the Cobalt-blooded troll snaps. "Are you deaf or what? I asked what comes in the combo meal."

"All of our combos come with grubfries and-"

"Yes but what does THIS one come with!" Deep breaths, (Y\N), deep breaths. She's above you on the hemospectrum, and you really don't want drones called here. A fellow coworker, Chixie, nervously walks over.

"Hey, um... Can-Can I help out?"

"I want to know what comes in the number two combo!" Chixie glances at you, and all you can do is shake your head.

"W-Well you have the option to pick between a few sides, including Grubfries and... And uh... A leafbowl. And you can pick between several options for caffeine sludges."

"That. I want the McHefferbeast burger in a combo." Does this lady even know where she is? Chixie seems just as tired before she shakes her head and goes back to deal with the new batch of Grubfries. "Well? Are you going to type it in or what?!"

"I'm sorry but this is Condy's, we have the Condy's Single Heffer, the Double Heffer, and-"

"I don't WANT those, I want the McHefferbeast sandwich!" You fight the urge to cover your face and groan. This is going to be a very, VERY long shift.

-

As Marsti finishes cleaning the bathroom and lobby, your coworkers all breathe a sigh of relief to finally be done with the shift. Chixie slumps against the counter while you lean next to her. The others finish with their duties for the night and in the distance you can hear the sounds of destruction.

"How many times did you end up dealing with Zebruh?" you ask, picking up a cup and filling it with your favorite flavor of sweet sweet caffeine.

"Four or five times. You?"

"God like five or six. Bastard kept coming into the dining room and making a mess of everything." You hear Marsti grunt in agreement, as she was the one who went out consistently to deal with the mess (I mean you would have but god damn is she fast). "Then the goldbloods uh..." You wave your hand as you try to think of the names.

"Oh god the black-rom moirails or whatever?" Chixie laughs, making you sigh and nod. "They kept trying to pull their pranks, god we were lucky no highbloods were around." As the last of your coworkers finish tidying up, you stand and offer Chixie a pat on the back.

"Hey, you have a show tonight, right?"

"I mean... Hopefully..."

"So why don't we quickly hit up McGrubold's and head to the club?"

"You'll watch me perform tonight...?"

"Of course, Chixie. And hey... As a little bit of "payback" we can even order the wrong meals from McGrubold's. Sound good?" You watch your coworker and friend think it over before a small but genuine smile comes to her face.

"Sounds great. Let's ditch the uniforms and get going!" And with a happy hop the two of you get changed and leave for the night.