Smoke and Ash

Nineteen (Midoriya P.O.V)

Midoriya stared up at the ceiling, counting the grooves. His body still hurt almost everywhere and he could barely do anything without somehow ripping open an old wound.

"Damn" he muttered lightly, bringing a hand to his side. "I was asleep for months.. in a hospital. They have healing quirks!" He pushed himself into a sitting position, choking against his own breath as pain shot up his side.

He had taken a step off the building in hopes that he could end it. In the back of his head, he knew there was no chance for him. Although he hadn't commits any actual attacks, he was still an accomplice for them and he had given up information to the villains that could vitally harm many heroes and UA students. He couldn't be a hero without a quirk, but he could live free either. He didn't even want to be a villain anymore, but it was they only thing he knew.

"I look like a mess" Across from his bed, he could see himself in the mirror. He currently had on a black tee shirt and gray sweatpants. Bandages were wrapped around his neck and hands, he also had gauze on his face.. he couldn't recognize himself. The green eyes staring back at him weren't his own, they were dead and it made him sick to his stomach to see himself this way.

"Deku?" A small knock tapped on his door. He tore his eyes away from his reflection as Himiko peaked her head into the room "Do you want something to eat? You never came down when Kurogiri made dinner earlier"

Midoriya shook his head, looking over at the clock on his wall "It's almost four in the morning Himiko.. why are you still awake?"

"I was asleep.. I woke up to get something to drink and noticed your light was still on"

"Ah yeah.." Midoriya got out of bed, moving over to the door. He leaned his hand on it, looking down to Himiko "I'm going to bed now, you don't have to worry"

Himiko looked up to him, frowning a little "You haven't eaten anything since you got here Deku"

"That's not true. I eat"

"Very little. Usually after I bring you some.. you haven't left this room at all unless it's to shower or use the bathroom"

Midoriya sighed, putting a hand against her shoulder as he lightly pushed her back "I'm fine, I just hurt a little that's all" he spoke in a careful voice, shutting the door as she tried to say something. His eyes went to the bookshelf filled with notebooks, and another sigh left his lips.

"I made another awful decision.." He took a couple steps over to the book shelf. He pulled one off the shelf, opening to a random page.

"Oh, I see" He whispered, running his fingers over the page. His eyes watered slightly "This one has information on Bakugou.. he sure has powered up over the years" a small laugh escaped his throat and he put the notebook back, flipping the light off and got into bed. Outside he heard the voices of two fellow villains talking about some kids that came close to the hideout. He ignored it as he tried to fall asleep.