A/N TRIGGER WARNING
Phil flew into his room and slammed the door behind him, hastily locking the handle and throwing himself onto the bed. He clutched his pillow, letting his tears wet the cotton. The faint smell of Dan's aftershave clung to the fabric; Phil punched the pillow and stumbled to the window.
'If I marry Dan, my parents would disown me. My mum thinks this is just a phase... I remember how she beat me with a belt when I told her I was gay.' Phil's thoughts echoed through his head. 'Why was I born this way?! I HATE MYSELF!'
Internally screaming, Phil tugged open his dresser drawer and grabbed his razor blade. Hands shaking, he drew the blade closer to his skin. Did he really want this?
Yes.
The first cut grazed the skin; the next split it open. Blood trickled down his arm, spattering onto the carpet and Phil's jeans.
It was as though the guilt and pain was slowly fading from his skin.
This felt good.
Phil continued to cut himself until his arm was raw and his brain was numb. He proceeded to gently dab away the dried blood and crawled into his unmade bed.
The last thing Phil thought about was the look on Dan's face when Phil turned him down, and the pain he had caused.
A/N
So yeah.... Here's chapter 3! I hope you're enjoying the phanfic so far; let me know what you think in the comments. However, do think before you type; self harm is a sensitive subject for many people.
No matter what you're going through right now, you can make it. Keep fighting, stay strong and 'do more of what makes you happy'. There are people in this world who love you, even if they don't think they do. I may not know you personally, but I can understand the pain you are going through.
You are beautiful.
Jas x
