Prophecies

The Old King's Tomb

July 3rd

So, I was sitting in this Starbucks right? All depressed n' stuff, and like there's this old lady kinda like sulking in the corner right? And I was like 'Yo. Wtf is that hag doin' in the corner?' and OMG I SWEAR this HAG looks right at me. Like, first of all how dare you? Mind your own business? And second of all ngl I was starting to get kinda creeped out by this soulless old witch.

 So i'm like ignoring her at this point even though she's staring at me. And I happened to glance back and THIS BITCH LIKE POINTS THIS LONG ASS CROOKED DISGUSTING FINGER AT ME. LIKE IT WAS DISGUSTING. IT WAS ALL OLD AND WRINKLY AND HER NAILS?...NOT.ON.POINT. IT WAS LIKE LONG AND IT LOOKED LIKE SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT FRICKIN HYGIENE IS. AND THEN SHE KINDA LIKE MOTIONED ME OVER TO HER WITH HER LONG DISGUSTING NAIL. LIKE HELL NAW!

 So I obviously don't go over cause it looks like imma about to get an omen of death or something from this woman. And I like, turn away and SHE'S STILL LOOKING AT ME. 

So I start guessing that she probably thinks I'm her long lost grandson or something and I go over and sit in front of her, cause I'm starting to feel kinda bad for her. Respect old people or whatever am I, right?

 SHE'S WORSE UP CLOSE SMH. She's got like these hideous yellow teeth and they're like broken or missing. Ew. And she's so wrinkly her wrinkles have wrinkles. And then she was all "Go to the tomb of the old king" in this wheezy voice, it sounded like she was about to have an asthma attack. I was about to ask her wtf she was talking about and then...SHE FRICKIN VANISHES LIKE....WHAT? LIKE IN A PUFF OF SMOKE I'm so confused. 

So I kinda looked around to see if anyone else noticed but NAH. These plebes be actin' normal. Like NO ONE saw this witch?

July 4th

I tried searching up what that old hag was talking about and I found nothing. Like...couldn't she have given me better instructions? Thanks for nothing hag.

 Anyways I needed to cool off after the old hag incident and I went to this forest that's behind the orphanage I live in and I'm walking around right? I should probably explain about the orphanage

So I live in what I call an orphanage cause there's like 10 kids but it's actually a foster home, and the old couple that takes care of us are actually pretty nice. 

 So I find this dirt path I've never been on before and I start following it cause why not right? I'll be home before sunset. So there I am walking along this cute little dirt road AND THE GROUND FRICKIN COLLAPSED. LIKE I LEGIT FELL IN A DITCH WTF. So, there I am sitting ON MY FREAKING BUTT, kinda confused right? 

So I get up and look around cause like don't feel like rotting down here and THE CAVE FRICKIN CONTINUES  THANK GOD I HAVE MY LIGHTER. The tunnel was pretty eerie cause I could only see like three feet in front of me and it seemed to stretch on forever. Ugh. I started to think I was going to die in that tunnel which would be tragic. My outfit is horrendous I can't die in it. How depressing would it be to die in a lame-ass hoodie and jeans? If I die my outfit better be flashy. I mean imagine the headline

" Boy, 18, dies alone in a cave: the victim was wearing a grey hoodie and a blue pair of jeans. it is currently unknown how or why he was in the cave."  

Ewwww! A GREY HOODIE (not that there's anything wrong with grey hoodie's but this one has an ugly ass splash of yellow on it in an attempt to "make it cool" )! AND IT'S GOT HOLES IN IT! DISGUSTING. I REFUSE TO DIE. 

And then I see it. The troll doll. Like, I'm not even kidding. There was a troll doll just lying there. I hate those. they're so creepy. This one has blue hair. Who invented these and why? I walked past it ofc like what if it's cursed. I really don't want to die in this outfit. 

"Hey!"

It's standing. The goddamn troll doll was standing and staring at me. Like what? I knew it was cursed! The cursed troll doll's beady eyes were staring into my soul and making me kinda uncomfortable, so I started to walk faster and OH SHITE IT'S FOLLOWING ME HELP! So now I'm like running AND OH GOD ITS RIGHT THERE ASDFGHJKL

"Please stop!" I think I'm going insane it's TALKING to me help!

"HELL NAW" oh God what's wrong with me? Now I'm talking to it!

"Please! I must take you to the tomb of the old king" 

BRUH.