Let's Sing The Pain Away! MishBir Story

Chapter 2: Reminiscence Part 1

"I had a miscarriage....." said Mishti with tears brimming in her eyes.

Shock was an understatement. Abir felt as if the ground underneath his feet just slipped. It didn't make sense. He felt as if his senses were giving up. He felt as if his brain just froze for that moment. He had nightmares about that day. He thought he had assumed the worst about that day. But this was beyond his imagination.

"Mishti had a miscarriage? She was pregnant? When? How?" Abir continuously thought to himself as he was trying to digest this information. He loosened his hold from her shoulders and took a step back slowly. Mishti was unsure and confused about handling the situation further. Abir was still suffering from PTSD. And his doctor had recommended Mishti to be careful about revealing any shocking news to him. And if it were to be revealed, she had to be very patient in handling that. She was advised to give him more time to process such information as there was a possibility that he could react in a different manner. Something that was unknown and unseen for Mishti. She just hoped that he was ok.

Abir sat down on the bed, unable to react. Mishti understood Abir's confusion and difficulty to digest this news. Ever since 2 weeks, she has been struggling to wrap this around her head. So it was obvious to her that Abir would struggle with that too. She got down on her knees. With tears in her eyes, she held his hand again tightly and said "Abir, I understand if this is confusing for you. I understand if you need more time to talk about this. But I want you to know that I am here. Also Abir, I have to inform you this: No one in the family knows. I wanted you to be the first one to find out about it."

That was yet another shocker for Abir. First he got to know that she was pregnant and that she miscarried. And now, she had managed to hide that successfully, not only from him but from the entire family. He kept looking towards Mishti with confusion. He was struggling to form words. Mishti was trying to understand but she wasn't able to decipher his reaction. She knew he was doing recovering well overall after the incident. But she also knew that he wasn't totally recovered. She knew this information could again remind him of the traumatic event that they were desperately trying to leave behind. She kept caressing his fingers using her thumb, while holding his hand.

Few mins passed by. Mishti was constantly looking towards Abir, making sure he was ok. Abir closed his eyes and exhaled some air. "How?" A lump formed in his throat and he stopped. He tried talking again. "Are you ok?". He held her hands and pulled her to sit right next to him. She nodded in agreement, with tears in her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me before? I could have helped." Abir's voice cracked by the end.

"I was struggling with it myself. I just didn't know how to break this news to you. I was scared" A droplet of tears fell from her eye as she said it.

"But you could have told me that you were pregnant?" Abir looked towards Mishti with desperation as he said this.

"I didn't know myself," said Mishti with helplessness.

That confused Abir again. He looked towards her curiosity. Mishti understood his bewilderment. She swallowed her own saliva, straightened her back and said "I didn't know I was pregnant. I mean. I did have an inclination about it that day. But before I could get it confirmed, I miscarried". Mishti tried her best to not fall weak. She fought a constant war with her tears for them to not fall. She wanted to remain strong like she has been.

Before she knew Abir just pulled her into a hug. They both silently cried in each other's embrace. They stayed like that for quite some time. Their embrace has always been their solace no matter the situation. And this time, they both needed it.