Let's Sing The Pain Away! MishBir Story

Chapter 4: Introspect

Abir took his diary and started writing. But he couldn't write beyond a couple of words. His thoughts were waging a war in his mind. Rarely had Abir found himself in situations where his words struggled to find a way to his thoughts. And when it did happen, it left him restless. He left his diary on the bed and walked upstairs to his loft where he had his painting materials stored. He took out his canvas and placed it on the stand. He just closed his eyes and started painting again. He threw colors, used his fingers and paint brush to shape his thoughts on the canvas. Even though his forehead was filled with creases of stress, tension and confusion, his mind was finally relaxing with each stroke Abir was applying on his canvas. He slowly opened his eyes to see his art.

His canvas had a little boy, sitting on a pavement, observing a glass half filled with water. He kept looking at his painting for a while, trying to deduce what it really meant. He sat down on the floor, supported his back on the wall and looked towards the ceiling. His hands were still covered with paints. He kept looking back and forth between his painting and his paint-covered hands. Slowly his thoughts started forming words. As he looked at his painting, phrases like "the glass is either half full or half empty" started making its way to his head. His life and its motive had always been surrounded around it. Whatever life threw on him or his family, he always made it a point to seek positives out of it and smile through it, no matter the pain it caused. Majority of his family saw the half empty glass. While he always looked for the glass that was half filled. Atleast that was his effort.

Every pain, every test, every failure taught him something. He used to leave his house whenever he felt suffocated. It was not only to look for peace but also to look for answers that his father's sudden disappearance had left with him. His father disappeared without any trace, any pictures or anything that he could use as his father's memory. All he had with him was the morals Mr Mehal Kapadia taught him. And those morals were his inspiration to become a better person. To become a person he thought his dad would be proud of. Even when it turned out that his dad wasn't a good person, Abir was still somewhere thankful because he was a better person than his father. He always thought that even if those teachings were meaningless for his dad, it made him see reason. It made him stronger. The morals somewhere helped him see through the manipulation that his mom caused in his house. He was able to have the strength to speak against his mom whenever needed. Even when he was the only one speaking. He was strong enough to handle that truth of his dad. Him being a nomad, him constantly having those values reverberated in his ears definitely helped him to not become a puppet to Meenakshi as his brother Kunal was.

"The glass is half full," he said that again, nodding with his eyes closed and a smile on his face.

Abir was also a man of perspective. Someone who would always look at both the sides of the same coin. Someone who loved unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. Someone who always gave people a deserving benefit of doubt. He had never blamed God or anyone for his miseries. His father's truth definitely hurt him beyond measures. But he came out stronger. He questioned himself whether him being a nomad cost him the relationship with his mother. Had he stayed home, would he have been able to connect with Kunal more and made sure he never became the puppet of his mom? Had he stayed home more maybe he could have made sure that Meenakshi's wouldnt turn out to be a control freak. But once all was said and done, his biggest lesson was to be happy with what he had. He still had a family who loved him dearly. He still had his partner, standing next to him as his source of strength. And even if he had lost his own, he still had an amazing father in the form of Nanu and Bade papa. The grass was definitely greener on his side.

Abir learnt one of his most important lessons during his break up phase with Mishti. Remembering that time brought back some upsetting memories. He had a lump in his throat.