walk me home // crygi

fourteen

Crystal's POV

March 22nd
-

I woke up at 11, still feeling tired and nauseous from the night before. I opened my phone to a text from Gigi.

Gigi: Hey, you wanted to talk?

My stomach flips over, and my heart feels heavy. I know I said I wanted to talk to her, but I was dreading it. I lied back down on my bed, thinking about what I should reply. Gigi has been nothing short of a drama queen since the day we met, yet I couldn't wrap my mind around why I was so concerned about her. If it was anyone else, I would have stopped trying so hard. It was hurting my brain to think about why I cared so much about someone who didn't care about my feelings at all. It was so unlike me. I sat back up and got on my phone again, and pulled up Gigi's message.

Crystal: I think it's just best if we talk in person.

I knew I was going to regret it but text conversations never end well. Maybe I shouldn't talk to her. She doesn't owe me anything, she hardly acknowledged me. But I could not stop wondering if she really felt that way about me.

I would never date her. She's ugly and not my type.

Ouch.

She was going through a lot, so it could have been her emotions. Or maybe she really did feel that way, and I completely imagined that there was some kind of feelings. Then again, I wasn't really sure how I felt about her. We didn't know each-other well enough for there to be any real feelings, but from the beginning I thought we would end up more than friends.

Welp, I completely misread that entire thing. Cool

Maybe it was for the best?

My phone vibrates, Gigi texted me back asking to meet at 12:30. I look over at the clock that now read 11:30, someone was eager. I guess she wanted to get it over with, I haven't known her long but i can tell she gets stressed really easily. I start to type back a reply, but turned it off because I realized I don't owe her anything either.

Daya would be proud of me for that one.
I got up and got dressed. I brushed out my hair & put on a little mascara. I got on my phone and scrolled through twitter to pass time. I was lost in thought about what I could say without sounding like an idiot. I couldn't not be her friend, because then I'd lose Jaida and Jan too. However, I didn't really want anything to do with her drama either. I felt dumb for the ping of hope I felt in my heart that night we fell asleep together. I know the whole "i like you too" thing wouldn't play out, but I thought she was at least as confused as I was about it.

I zoned out, and snapped back to reality when Gigi texted me that she was here. Right at 12:30. Persistent. I sighed and got up, looking at myself in the mirror before walking downstairs to the front door. I hesitate for a moment, kicking myself for even inviting her in the first place. I open the door and our eyes lock immediately. Her eyes were still puffy from crying, but her smile was as big and bright as normal. I tried not to smile back, as I moved aside to let her in.
She walks in and looks around. I don't say anything to her as I shut the door, or when I walk up the stairs to my room. She follows loosely behind me, and I can sense that she's already anxious, or intimidated. My heart sank, realizing I'm probably just adding to her stress. I didn't want to do that to her.

We walked in my room and she sat on my bed, and I instantly regretted inviting her. I knew what I had to do though, and it will save me a lot of trouble later. I couldn't get wrapped up in Gigi's life, and I think it would be better for both of us.

"Hi" She finally says, softly. She's looking down at the floor, and her shoulders are hung low.

"Uh Hi" I reply, feeling unusually uncomfortable. It's not like it's that hard. I just have to get it out. "How are you?" I ask instead, trying to smile. She's the one who made me so upset, yet it was sad to see her so upset too.

"I'm fine" She lies smiling. "Daya has been really nice". Gigi sat up more confidently, trying to hide her feelings. She was really good at that. I didn't want to press her pathetic attempt at lying, I just wanted to get it over with.

"I don't think, we should, um" I start, not really sure what I'm trying to say or why I forgot how to talk. "I don't think we should be friends" I say blankly, watching her smile break. "Not like completely, I just don't think we should spend that much time around eachother".

"Oh?" She says confused, which of course she is, because of how badly i'm fucking this up.

This is why Daya always helps me with stuff like this.

"The drama is just too much for me, I can't keep up. I don't think it would have worked out anyway. This friendship or whatever". There's a look of hurt that quickly diminishes, and she plays it off with a smile. She seems unaffected.

"Is this about the comment, because I-" Gigi begins, and I stand up which cuts her off.

"It's fine I get it" I say flatly.

"Daya hates me" She replies, I could sense the hurt in her voice.

"She doesn't hate you, she just has a bit of an attitude problem sometimes" I say, trying to make light of it.

"So you just invited me over to tell me, you didn't want to be my friend anymore?" She asks, making me cringe even though that's exactly what i did.

"I thought it would be better to talk about it in person" I reply softly.

"I didn't mean what I said in the comment. I was just so, angry" Gigi states. "I didn't think you'd actually see it".

I look up at her blankly, and her face is calm. I didn't even know how to respond, and I think she knew that because she got stood up from my bed quickly.

"I'm gonna go" She says smiling. "I think you're right, it wouldn't have worked out anyway,".

Gigi hurries past me and down the steps. I stay standing until I hear the door shut downstairs. I felt bad, but at the same time I could care less. I flop down on my bed and ignored the hurt in my chest. I pulled out my phone and started to text Jaida.

Crystal: What are you doing right now?

Jaida: Nothing important, why what's up?

Crystal: I need to get really high

Jaida: Girl I thought you would never ask

Jaida: I was beginning to think you were normal

Crystal: My house or yours?

Jaida: Come over in 20 🥰