take a good hard look ⚣ // scomiche

3

Scott wad always distant.

Independent.

Maybe that's what 13 year old me found so compelling about him. He was an old soul. He was polite and introverted while still approaching me first.

I thought he had a gentle, selcouth mind.

Everyone else  found him a bit odd, though.

After all, he would basically start a conversation with me everyday until I gave into whatever game he was playing.

Sometimes if I was walking home alone at night, he'd rub out barefoot just too see me.

Just to silently look at the stars with me.

I thought he was so... Perfect. Peculiar, yet balanced.

I mean... anybody who gives you a thesaurus for Christmas is definitely someone you wanna keep around.

He would ask me "What do you wanna be when you're older?" like clockwork. I never knew how to respond.

"Well what do you wanna be?" I asked back.

All of a sudden, he blushed. The conversation turned to meekly smiling back and forth.

And I still never knew what he wantes to be. What he wished for. What he-

"Mitchell Grassi get your head out of the sky."

"Jeez, Kirstie."

"This might be why Scott is..." She motioned her head to the side. "You know."

"His girlfriend did what now?"

"Obviously she was cheating," Kirstie sighed. We where all crammed back into the car again, breathing down each others necks as Kirstie constantly looked down at the phone.

Sabrina had been texting with someone. The reason it compelled us was the last and final text.

See you for our date ❤

Anyways, you can see why this might be thought provoking.

I hoped Sabrina and Scott didn't love each other enough that'd he'd just... Leave because of it. Or do something bad to himself.

Scott was one of the happiest people I'd ever known. Of course, he was quiet- but why didn't I question it when he stopped talking all together?

God, I'm an awful human being.

I thought back to 8th grade.

"Why are you scared of dancing?" He asked me.  A group of kids our age invited us to a party- one held by a tall, lanky brunette boy I had a small crush on. His name was Stanley, and he was 100% out of my league. 

"Everyone'll stare." This was, indeed, completely contrary to our usual situation of being bitterly outcasted. I really couldn't imagine it being any other way; maybe they hated me for being happy.

He didn't speak. He only wrapped his hand around my wrist and lead me downstairs, where significantly less people were hanging out. They all cleared when we came, though.

Music played in the background, "Mr Brightside" to be more exact. I don't know who wrote it, though. Scott seemed to love it.

"I'm not dancing," I sighed.

"You don't have to," he responds, "you can't force yourself to feel something like that."

"You don't feel dancing."

He simply shook his head back, rolling his eyes a tad. 

Eventually I did dance. And he smiled, and we were happy. 

Scott always made me happy, though. A weird kind of happy.

It hurt that I might never feel that again.

"We're here Mitch!" Kirstie says, a smile on her face. I didn't know how she could always smile. Even when she was plotting something, a cheshire grin would sneak across her face. 

It turned out to be an apartment, in a city I felt was somewhat dodgy. We were able to get in very easy- (not a good sign.)

Sabrina lived on the very top floor in the very back corner. A Christmas wreath was still hanging on a mustard yellow door, which had about 13 locks on it.

Kevin was the one who knocked.

A young girl answered, and she instantly recognized us. She had a frizzy, jet black bob with bangs that were too long. She was keeping them out her eyes using a pair of circular sunglasses.

"I know you," she said, pointing happily. "One of you?" Both of you." 

"And we know you," I said, "you dated Scott?"

"Scott Hoying?" Yeah." She turned to another girl in the back. This girl had curly, red hair that was cut in a short pixie. She seemed to be asleep, too. 

Sabrina stepped out, wanting to talk to us in the hallway. 

"What... what's up?" She asked, awkwardly leaning on the wall. 

"We..." I began. How did we begin this? Just go ahead and ask, "hey, Scott's missing. Is it because you cheated, by any chance?"

"Were you close with Scott?" Kirstie asks. Sabrina suddenly looked as if she understood everything.

"I did cheat on him. With Alyssa, who's my current girlfriend. And i'm fucking sorry, okay? Will you tell him that? She asked. She jumped after hearing her own dog violently bark from behind the door. 

"I mean... you can't control if you weren't attracted to him," Kevin says. 

"I'm not gay, i'm bi. And cheating isn't okay," she said. She shrugs her shoulders back. "We weren't close, me and Scott."

"That's what we wanted to know," Kirstie says, "he's... um, missing." Sabrina blinks her eyes in disbelief.

"Oh jeez," she exclaims, "I really don't think it has to do with me. Sometimes I felt like he wasn't even interested in me."

"How so?"

"I don't know. I suck at listening," she said, "I was super self absorbed until very recently. But he did always talk about this one friend."

"Probably Mitch," Kevin says.

"No, I feel like it was a girl, the way he talked about them," she noted, "he also talked about his sister a lot. His sister and another chick." 

"Lindsey?"

"No, Lauren," she said, suddenly holding her head as if it hurt. Lauren? I thought, he has a brother and a sister. Logan and Lindsey.

"Do you mean Logan?"

"No, I mean Lauren. Logan is her deadname."