Because of You: Junping and Yuerong

Chapter One: My Most Important Person

Yuan Junping

I don't pay a lot of attention to the other people in my classes because my mom has always raised me to be suspicious. As the third wife of Yuan Weizhi, one of the top bankers in Taiwan, she was quickly disabused of the notion that he loved her but accepted that so she could live a great life. I know she had me to ensure the connection that she had with my father or rather with my father's money. We really don't have a relationship other than her concern that I will mess up her connection to that money.

In any case, my mother had taught me to be suspicious of others from an early age—constantly telling me to be wary of people because they would only like me or try to be close to me because of my father's money. For years, she even kept me away from my step-brothers because she thought they would try to hurt me to get at my inheritance. I'm sure that she thought that this would make me rely on her more, but it only made me trust her less and less because her words were not backed by any warm actions from her.

Ironically, the only people that actually showed me kindness were my step-brothers, even Yuan Cheng who spent half of each year growing up in Korea with his mother's family. When he found out that I was getting beat up for money at school, he took care of it. Not only did he find the bullies and beat them up, but he also found out secrets about them and threatened them with those secrets.  He was that scary even in high school.  And it was Jundao (my second oldest brother) who always remembered what I really wanted for my birthday instead of the extravagant gifts that my parents would leave for me on that day. He taught me how to fly a kite. Cheng taught me how to ride a bike.

While both my parents expected and, in fact, encouraged rivalry and antagonism between us, we bonded over our bitterness towards our dad and our broken relationship with our mothers. Jundao's mom used her alimony to travel the world and acquire younger and younger boyfriends. The only time I remember seeing her was when Jundao graduated from high school. Cheng's mother died when he was eight years old. She sounds like she was wonderful but pitiable because she loved our father, whom Cheng blames  for her death. So basically, we are three motherless boys with a father who only brought us out to show he had sons.

The other reason why we don't hate each other is because we also realized that there was plenty of money for us all. There was no way any of us could spend all of it, so why would we need all of it? Why would we fight over it? I never understood those dramas where families fought over ownership of the business. I don't even think I want to work in the business. I'm not sure Jundao wants to either, and Cheng is only working to get his mother's family's property back out of our father's hands.

We understand that money gives us freedom and power, but the desire to get more and more never made our father happy, so why grab for it? He expects us all now to be these filial sons to him; he brings us together as if he is giving each of us a gift to each other because he believes that if it weren't for him, we'd be at each other's throats. 

This doesn't mean, however, that we are close. We each live separately even when Cheng is back from Korea. We grew up separately in separate households. We don't really hang out. Instead, we rely on each other to help us remember that we aren't the crazy people in this family. It's nice to have co-witnesses in the pit.

Each of my parents believes that he or she is the most important person in my life, but neither is. It still hurts to say that, but not as much as it used to. I used to wish every night for my parents' love. But Cheng taught me that family didn't have be my most important people.  One night, he found me crying in my room. He was up late packing and getting ready to leave again for 6 months in South Korea. He told me that I would find and choose my most important person and that the people we choose can be even more important than the people we are given.

That is what happened to me. The most important person to me is Yan Yuerong. We are best friends. I love him more than as a friend, but  for a long time I was fine with not saying anything about that because I wasn't sure that I wanted him as a boyfriend either. I always found him attractive. But lovers? None of the lovers I have seen last. 

My mom says she fell in love with my father, but I think she just fell in love with his money. The students I see at school who are "in love" don't reflect the variety of feelings I have for and when I'm with Yuerong. 

He makes me laugh. He makes me feel warm. He makes me feel like I can be smarter and nicer and better than I am. He fills all the lonely crevices. He knows when I need to hear words of encouragement and of admonishment. He knows when I don't need to hear words but just need to sit quietly (usually after my mother leaves yet again). I want to make him happy. I want to give him everything he wants in the world. I want to fill all his lonely spots. The love that I see people in around me doesn't encompass what I feel for him. He is always by my side, so for a long time, I didn't really need to define it any more than that.