Love, Win | BrightWin

Chapter 1

Letter #1

"We all suffer from the preoccupation that there exists ... in the loved one, perfection"

Dear Mr. Chivaree,

Today I've decided to write you a letter regarding this strange feelings bugging me. But this won't be a love letter or is it? This will serve as my coping mechanism to redeem my old self, free from confusion, free from tension, free from being uneasy when you're around, and free from you. Although I was never really yours lmao.

As I said this is not a love letter because first, you won't even know this exists or I exists, second, this letter will never reach you or never will be sent to you. This is purely self-redemption for myself to get over you (?). Mr. Chivaree, my feelings for you were bad news, you are a bad news that strangely makes me smile while you do you, that sends shivers and uneasiness throughout my body, that made me do this effort of letter-writing. I HATE THIS NEW FEELING. I thought this is pure admiration, but loving and smiling from the thought of you is purely not. This is my first time liking someone in the same gender, prolly one of the reasons why I call it bizarre and strange for this is just new to me.

Okay this is getting long na, I'm really too whipped for you ha lol.

Love,
Anonymous

I folded the letter and stuck it inside its envelope. Staring outside my window, after writing that damn letter I still don't know if this is a great idea. If this will greatly help my "self-redemption". It's 9 O'clock already, writing this takes so much urge even though I have no plans in giving it to him. Iniisip ko nalang na baka sa paraang to lahat mababalik sa dati, lahat ng nararamdaman kong to or ano mang tawag dito ay sana mawala.

"Bakit pa kasi ikaw pa?!" Irita kong sabi sa sarili ko while clutching my hair, sa rami-raming taong pwedeng magustohan yung imposible pang maging akin yung napili ng puso ko. Great choice of heart Metawin, kainis. Pero ganyan naman talaga diba? You won't be able to dictate your heart's will, tsaka brain naman din ang responsible for emotions. Kaya siguro binabagabag niya ko pati sa isipan.

Later after meddling with my love thoughts, I decided to sleep and rest my weary brain.
Turning off all lights, closing of eyes. And for the first time of the day I was at ease.

7:30 AM Monday

My deep slumber was awakened dahil sa napakalakas na alarm. No choice ako kaya bumangon na, my everyday classes starts at 8:30 though I always wake up an hour early somehow minsan late pero I only need to prepare mga 30 minutes lang. For the reason na malapit lang sa school ang tinutuluyan kong dorm, tsaka sa school na rin minsan ako nagbrebreakfast kasama mga tropa.

Finishing my morning routine, I got a text from one of my friends.

Khao
San ka na? Knina pa kmi dto oy!

Win
Parating na po
Tsaka goodmorning ha.
Seen 8:02 AM

Kanina pa talaga siguro yung mga mokong sa cafeteria naghihintay kaya naman medyo binilisan ko na rin. As I was rushing napahinto ako bigla, my eyes were locked to the man walking as if in slow motion a cliché instances in every love story. He walks firm and oozing with hotness, uniform perfectly fits his well proportioned body. But before I drool myself, nagpasya na kong pumunta na sa table kung saan naka tambay mga tropa bago pa mag cross talaga landas namin.

"Antagal mo Metawin! Kaya yan inorder ko na usual mo." Sabi ng pinakabesfriend kong si Khao.

"Late kasi nagising sensya na." I lied, the usual 7:30 naman kasi talaga ako nagigising. I started savoring our favorite breakfast meal sa school. Binilisan ko na rin kasi malapit na magstart yung first class namin.