Falling into the Badboy

Six

When Brian pulled up to the drive, there was, of course, Derek's FBI-issued car, and it wasn't just him. He brought Spencer with him. Spence is apart of Derek's team, he's super smart and super cute, but he's like my smart, geeky brother. Spencer was outside on the phone when we pulled up. He looks over at me as I climb off the bike.

Ending the call quickly, Spencer turns to the door and calls for Derek. I sigh and wait for Brian before I head towards the house. "Oh, hell, no! Not you again." Derek exclaims, storming out of the house.

I stop before him and glance over at Spencer. He smiles at me weakly, knowing there isn't much he can do to help.

"Skipping school! That's your idea of laying low?" He glares at Brian, "I bet this is your fault. You're bad for her, " he points at Brian and takes a step forward, but I hold my hands up, pushing him back out of Brians's face. "She doesn't need anything from you!"

"Shay!" Spencer comes over and pulls Derek back for me. I turn and glance at Brian. His jaw is tight, and I know he wants to yell back, but he's restraining himself.

"I found this on the porch this morning." I hold the letter out, and Spencer takes it from me. "I'm done hiding. I don't care if Shawn is standing ten feet away from me; I will kill him. And you can't stop me." I look right at Derek, and he looks from me to Spencer.

Spencer looks up to both of us, "from the pronouns and adjectives he's using, he sounds sincere towards the pain you've experienced because of him, but everyone else is damned. I think he genuinely thinks he loves you." He gives Derek the letter.

Derek folds the letter back up and looks at me, "get inside. We can talk about this more without him." Derek says, pointing at Brian.

I shake my head, "it's okay, he knows." Derek looks like he could start a fire with his eyes as he glares past me towards Brian.

Once everyone is inside, my aunt makes sure that Alyssa is in bed before coming back to the kitchen to be in the loop. I sit at the counter; concern probably etched all over my face. Brian stands off to the corner leaning up against the wall, and Derek leans his back against the counter as Spencer stands next to him.

"I'm not leaving." Is the first thing out of my mouth. "Shawn thinks he has won, but I'm not going to give him that satisfaction." Derek sighs, putting a hand to his forehead while he looks to the floor.

"Grace, look.." I cut him off.

"No, Derek. I'm done running. You know what? Can we not talk about this. I haven't even seen him, only letters and threats. So where I'm standing right now, there is nothing to worry about." I look at Spencer, who seems lost in his own thoughts. "Spencer, I can hear the gears of your brain from here. What is it?"

He looks at me, clearing his throat, "it's just that in the letter, he mentions how he missed the way your eyes twinkle in the moonlight. Missed. Past tense." The moonlight, I think to myself.

"The party." I look over at Brian, "at the pond. Remember, there was someone there with me when we were on the phone. I thought it was you at first but, what if it was Shawn." Brian considers it, and I look back to Spencer and Derek. "He's already here. We just need to figure out his game plan."

"Game plan?" Derek shakes his head. "No, you don't need to get involved in this. The team will take care of it."

I shake my head, "it's funny how you think I'm going to stay out of this. It's really funny."

"Grace." Derek starts and gestures to Brian, "you already splurged your identity to this punk right here." He shakes his head, "you can't be involved it's too much of a risk."

"No, actually I didn't. He doesn't even know my real name. He knows about my past yes, but not who I really am." Derek shakes his head.

"Doesn't even matter." He walks out of the kitchen, and I sigh, looking down to the counter.

Spencer squeezes my shoulder, "he'll be okay. Just stay safe for all of us." I nod my head and squeeze his hand before he follows Derek out the door.

I look to my aunt, who has been quiet this whole time. She just walks over to me and kisses my forehead, "I love you, and will do whatever I have to do to protect you." I nod my head and watch as she leaves the kitchen to heading up to her room.

Leaving just Brian and I alone, I lay my head in my hands and hear footsteps walking towards me, just as I feel the hand on my back pulling me into him. I sigh and lay my head on his chest, for the first time I get a brief smell of sandalwood. I never knew what he smelled like until right now, which tells me just how close I am to him at this moment.

I clear my throat and pull away as my heart squeezes in my chest. This can't be us, there can't be an us. He is just going to get hurt because of me. I look up into his eyes and he sees what I can feel and he shakes his head. "No. Don't do that. Don't push me away." I sigh and shake my head frowning as I stand to speak.

My heart tugs at my chest trying to claw it's way to the surface to speak for itself but I shove it back down and let my brain do the talking. "It's safer this way. I won't let you get hurt because of me." Brian shakes his head and turns around punching the wall, thank God there isn't a hole. "Brian, too many people, are dead and I can't let anyone else get hurt because of me."

He turns to me with fire in his eyes and like a loaded gun he goes off, "you don't get to make that decision for me! If I want to get hurt for someone, it will be on my terms." He exclaims as he takes a few steps towards me. Instictfully I back up, I've seen Brian mad, but nothing like this. He points a finger in my chest, "you just waltz into town and fall into my arms out of nowhere and think that you can just win me over with this whole fucked up life you have." I take a few more steps back and bump into the wall breathing heavily as his arms come up around me to trap me. "It's not that easy. I see how this works lure me in, then throw me out." He smiles, and I frown shaking my head. "This is just a game. Did my father put this whole ruse on to get me to obey for him?" Confused I look at him, but he looks down.

I've spent my whole time thinking about myself and my life, that I never stopped thinking that maybe others have it just as bad as I do. "Brian," I whisper, and he looks into my eyes, and immediately I can see the shame and regret of what he has said, but I don't get a chance to ask because he's out the door and down the road so quick that when I run to the sidewalk, I have no idea in which direction he went.

Going to school the next day, I walk down the hall books in hand as I look at the ground. After tuning out the rest of the students I think about what happened yesterday with Brian but pushing him away is for the better. He might look tough on the outside but a bullet to the head can slowly dissolve that image. I just don't want him to get hurt. "Grace." I look over at Leah and realize that's she been trying to talk to me.

"I'm sorry. You were telling me that you..." I trail off, hoping she would finish the sentence.

She stops by the classroom and puts her hands on her hip, "what has gotten into you?" You're just so reserved this morning." She says.

I smile lightly and laugh, "I'm just really tired. I didn't sleep much last night." I explain.

Leah squints her eyes and stares into my soul, "well brighten up because we have to plan a big party."

"What?" Leah turns and walks into the classroom not telling me anything more about this party. I sit down and lean over to her, "we just went to a party." I say whispering to her.

She turns around in her seat legs crossed and looks at me, "this is a surprise party." I frown and she elaborates a little more, "for Tom, his birthday is next month."

I sit back in understanding, "oh ok. I thought you meant like a party this weekend." She smiles and shakes her head, turning back to the front of the class.

I turn my head and look over into the direction of Brian, but he isn't there. His seat is empty, I look back to my own desk and fold my hands feeling guilty for his absence, but not at the same time. I would rather have him mad at me right now than trying to play the hero. He doesn't need to be my hero, because the hero always dies.