It's been raining all day, first day off in weeks. With everything going on in my world I seem to forget the days and nights all together at this point. I hear the cars splashing around like little children playin in puddles outside. I see their lights flashing right on by my window. The small perks of living on the first floor of a brownstone. Between the rain banging on my window & the tress scratching right alone with them, I wonder who's louder my Tv or the elements playing outside. Downside of living on the first floor I can hear everything everyone says outside like i'm some sort of bat.
The time ticks by and the day grows into night. First day off and I stayed inside an ordered in. Relax. That's all I can think to myself as I glance outside to see the elements play with each other. Phones vibrating, forgot I even had one. My eye glance over the lit up screen. It's him. Fuck. Pulling the text notification over I see the "I'm on my way, we need to talk" Fuck. What this time.. what now. Time to get ready for this shit show i'm about to be on. ... Fuck where did it go wrong. Getting up to get a drink I pass myself in the mirror completely forgetting I even had a body in the first place, I look a hot mess. My hair's tangled, theres food on my shirt, i'm not wearing pants or underwear for that fact & my face is just.... Ew... can I even call that a face. Fuck. Now I have to go look like my parents raised my with some kind of sense or well hygiene skills. Turning on the bluetooth to my phone ... connecting to the speaker laid in the bathroom, it's about that time to shower till I feel like a pretty sparkly diamond. No more like so I can wash the scent of food off my skin. Specifically the Chinese food I've been eating for an hour. Walking into the overly hot shower I decide to pull the trio move the WBW (Wash/Brush/Wash).
Wash your ass, brush your teeth & wash your face all in one place, nothing spectacular just so I can look like a human instead of a potato .... Relax.... Breath....Fuck got soap in my eye. Finally finished, I smell like well soap, so thats good. And my face looks like well a face, well it looks like a clean face. With my newly found wet hair time to comb out the tangles but first put on clothes. Running around looking for sweats and looking for a shit (whats a bra or underwear) My music stops, fuck that means my phones ringing. Pulling down my shirt & combing out my hair I see the text... It's from Grubhub RATE OUR FOOD... yea... no. I wanna not do that..ever.. well maybe later when I'm in bed and have nothing else to do. There goes the vibration on my phone again, this ones from him. "I'm here, open the door" Dammit I knew I should've gave him a key, too lazy for this shit. Passing the same evil mirror that told me to go shower I look a it again, nope instead of a human I look like a Wet Hot Mess instead of just a Hot Mess. Upgrade. I shrug & got to open the door and face the music.
What was about to happen to me.. no to us? Was it over.. did he cheat.. fuck did I cheat and not know then get magically caught ? Damn that would be a fucked up situation. I open the door to welcome another Wet Hot Mess but instead his water came from the sky, right it's raining outside forgot about that. I wave him In, closing and securing the safety of my door I go to fetch him a towel. He follows me into my room, the same place he lays his head 3-4 times out of the week when he's not in his own home. I turn to look at him and smirk, "wanna shower? You have clothes here & I just did laundry." He looks at me then looks at himself and laughs, " Yea I do actually. I feel like a wet dog." He proceeds to the bathroom, as I search for his clothes in my dresser I hear the water hit the tiling to the bathroom... Welp there he goes. Fetching his clothes I lay them on the bed and exit the room, back to the living room I go as I realize I've yet to finish combing out my hair. Fuck it. Luckily there's a scrunchie around my wrist - time for my hair to go up and I do it later.
40 minutes go by and I hear the squeak of my bathroom door , the wet foot steps across my wooden floor and the rustle to put on clothes in my bedroom with the proceeding of footsteps entering my living room. Fuck. Here.We.Go.
He sits next to me and looks at me, 'Hi?" I glance at him from the side of my eye, "Yo, so what happened?" Looking back at my tv. He picks up the remote and turns it off. " can you look at me, we need to talk" I let out a deep sigh... relax.... Nd look at him. He licks his lips and proceeds " Listen I know you've been doing back to backs and that my job has me working nights but I need to get his off my chest, okay?" I shake my head nd breath ... Fuck, wait no Relax...
He extends his hand for mine and I give in and hold his. He looks me in the eyes while with his empty hand slowly begins to caress my face, with the hand thats holding mine he pulls me in closer to him. Slowly pulling my face into his he kisses me. Placing his forehead against mine, both of us still with wet hair and faces. He whispers " I missed you, I've been missing you everyday. I try not to text you when I know you're either at work or asleep. But it's getting harder and harder not to do when I miss you everyday. I dont get to sleep next to you as much & I miss having you make my arm fall asleep. I don't get to see your beautiful sleeping face when I wake up before you to make something to eat. I miss you." As he says these words and I feel his hand squeeze mine, I feel his hand on the back on my neck holding me close so I dont run. I feel his eyes search for mine as I keep them close. The moment I open my eyes I feel them. I feel the tears roll down my face, I feel the sadness inside of me begin to pour out because everyday I miss him too. Every moment I miss him, I choke back words and he pulls me into his lap. Slowly wiping tears from my face. "I miss you too" I say as I look down and refusing to meet his gaze. Fuck the embarrassment is setting in. Fuck.... Why this... He looks at me and holds my face up to meet his gaze.
"Theres more." I look at him, tears slowly stopping. He rubs the remaining tears that I have yet to fall off my face. He holds me close and says "Everyday that I realize I miss you more I've come to realize that I love you" Shock's taken over my face and I know he can tell, FUCK. My heartbeat goes a mile per hour & my eyes begin to tear up again. I bury my face in his chest inhaling this sweet scent that I've longed for, for so many weeks. He plays in my damp hair, I can feel him smiling but most importantly I can feel his heartbeat. This heartbeat that I've fallen asleep to listening so many times, on this day I've learned that this heart beats for me.
It's raining today and the elements are not letting up. It's raining today and there was no break up... It's raining today & I just learned that the man that I'm in love with also loves me back... Fuck I love the rain.
Slowly I lift my head high enough for me to be able to look him slightly in the eyes but slightly away. I say it loud enough for the both of us to hear it " I love you too" ... Relax....
Relax...
Relax...
Relax...
Relax...
He pulls me in close and kisses me... Relax... He pulls me in close and his hands are underneath my shirt... Relax... I'm on top of him... Relax... I can feel both parties excitement.... Relax... we make our way to my room... Relax goes out the window.
Laying in his arms and smiling while watching the rain. I trace part of his chest, I love you I whisper, he returns his feelings with a kiss on the lips. I love you too is whispered into my lips after every kiss... Fuck... Relax... Breath... I love the rain....Relax.... And go to sleep.
