Dear Diary,

Dear Diary #2

Ya know when you're not alone, but surrounded by people, and you still feel lonely?

i'm not talking about being by oneself. i'm talking about the emotion tht gets so strong i sometimes break from it. That feeling that slowly rips you apart from the inside out and tears your heart into shreds like it was nothing. That burns away your brain, making you numb. I hate it.

i feel lonely all the damn time. i cant keep up with it always.. it drives me insane. Another part of me thinks i'm better off alone. I wont have to worry about burdening anybody or getting in the way.

However, this other side of me is longing for friends. longing for closeness. longing for comfort. longing for light. longing for this loneliness to end. I am tired of it consuming so much of my life. I'm always alone with my thought. And think I, as well as you, know that that is never a good thing to do..

But i need to keep certain thoughts at bay.. I promised them i would. Even though the one i promised is gone, i don't like breaking promises. i will try my hardest for them, though i probably mean less than nothing to em anymore. i do still care, even if it's not what we intended.
"better off without you"

i know you are.. i'm proud of you. and i hate to say i told you so, but i'm going to :)

I miss my friends. I miss school. I miss when everything was normal and it wasn't all fucked up and flip- flopped. I'm sorry everyone. I am.

i'll try to be better...

But i'm not sure i can?

~me