Might go to Heaven || Plague Doctor × Reader

×Monotonous×

I've been staying in the doctor's guest room for almost almost a week now. My condition has worsened, unfortunately. A couple nights ago I began to experience nausea, I haven't vomited but eating has become a chore due to how revolting it feels to eat right now. The doctor comes to check on me three times a day now, forcing me to eat each time for my own sake. He actually has to force me to swallow it, the nausea has made my will to actually swallow the food disappear.

Everytime he comes in, he also checks my state and writes down as much as he can. The doctor still has a notable staring problem, making eye contact with him makes me feel as if he's stealing my soul. I still have to do it sometimes as a part of my routinely checkup.

I know that it's bad that my state has gotten worse, but I'm glad in a way that it did since the doctor visits me more often. I've grown an unfounded fascination with him. I used to just wonder about him because I was locked up with him, now I have no clear reason to think about him so much. I'm so curious when it comes to him, but it's unprofessional to ask him any questions. I want to leave the room sometime when I get better and speak with him like a normal person.

It's gotten to the point where it makes me sad to think about getting better and having to leave. I want to stay here, for some reason. He's such a curious sight, he's so intimidating yet vulnerable. I always wonder what's behind his mysterious nature. I want to know what makes the two of us so fundamentally different.

I tend to find myself daydreaming about him, it's embarrassing but it distracts me from the discomfort I feel lately. I wonder what his face looks like, does he even shave? I guess he wouldn't have to since he wears that leather mask all the time. The only part of his mortal body I have seen is his eyes, which I've come to find out that they're very dark. So much so that I can't distinguish a clear pupil. It was scary at first but I've come to find them fascinating.

I would stare at them if they didn't stare right back at me constantly. His eyes make him feel real, and that's scary for some reason. There's a whole different dimension inside his head and I'll never get to understand it. I wonder how he got this way, secluded and cold. He's clearly human, but he acts nothing like one. Every part of skin is covered up as well, further making him seem inhuman.

If I was in my right mind, I would be trying to make my way out. This man, who's been medicating me and keeping me in his guest bedroom for days, won't even tell me his name. I should be scared, my brain must be defective in some way. I trust him way more than I should. I must be going mad. The doctor can't be trusted if he can't even tell me his name. I can't leave even if I tried though, I'm too weak right now to make it back home. There's too much risk trying to run off, I'll just collapse along the way get dragged off by some wild animal.

I'm going to seek out some answers, if he can't give me any then I'll know more that he can't be trusted. However, that may take a while since I'm too ill to even leave my bed. I'll seek them out once I can stand by myself without feeling like I'm going to collapse.