Home (I wish you could stay)

VI.

He kept picking at it, despite the others' warnings. It was so intriguing to him that he felt nothing. At first, he just used his index finger to gain entry to the wound, soon followed by all of them.

Logically, he knew that he should stop, but the harder he scratched at his forearm, the quicker the flesh fell away. He knew he was being reckless - and maybe even selfish - but he didn't care. Digging deeper, his fingertips submerged inside, the warm feeling welcoming and when he retracted his hand, it felt incredibly smooth from all the blood. He felt dizzy, but he wasn't sure why. His skin itched to keep going, his mind screaming to-

"No, stop! Please!" Hoseok sat up. Jimin was talking in his sleep again, but it was gladly welcomed this time. His dream was, well, worse than a nightmare and he would like to forget about it as soon as possible. Stressed, he ran his fingers roughly over his face and rubbed at his eyes. Looking to his left, he spotted the small gun he kept next to him in case of emergency. Picking it up, he touched the handle, feeling the cool leather binding under his burning fingertips. He watched his hand tread lightly over the trigger. He had considered this so much within the last 24 hours. The urge to place the barrel on his temple becoming more and more unbearable with each passing second.

All it would take is a second.

"No." He whispered. He tried his best to look around in the darkness. Jimin was still tossing around in his sleep. Crawling over to him, Hoseok shook him just enough for his whimpers to subside, now replaced with little snores. Memories of the younger - and of the other members - filled his mind then as he watched Jimin twitch in slumber. There was so much happiness and love surrounding them. Even while the rest of the world was swallowed in chaos and destruction, Hoseok could only see them.

"No." He said it more clearly this time, way more sure of himself. He couldn't do that. Not to Jimin, not to his other friends. Not now. Not ever.

He threw the gun down heavily onto the floor. Jimin's breath halting momentarily before continuing. The gun slid back a bit on the wooden floor. Hoseok tsked quietly before shakily standing and leaving the room.

He needed to go get some fresh air.

Opening the large window, he steps out into the cool early morning air. He notices the hair on his arms are standing on end. Not in his right mind, Hoseok decides to go check it out, but before he makes his way down the wall and into the field by the house, he stops and glances back at the gun on the floor.

While this was stupid, it would be more so if he didn't bring a weapon. Picking it up, and shoving it in a pocket, he stepped over the balcony and climbed down and out into the night. Glancing back, "I'm sorry, guys."

When the others wake a few hours later, the sunlight now bleeding in and staining the walls, Jimin is the one who says something first. "Guys, have you seen Hoseok this morning?"

Jin and Namjoon look up at that. "No? Jimin, he stayed with you last night." Yoongi says, eyes searching. "I'm sure he's around somewhere."

"No, you don't understand. I think.. I think he's gone. The window was-"

"GUYS!" Jeongguk's raspy voice cut through the conversation. The group sprints outside to the sound, only to be met with the sight of blood. A streak dripping down the wall of the house. "Alright, pack up. This is now officially a search-and-rescue. Hoseok could be in danger."

The six boys looked for their friend at a painstakingly slow pace. Seconds turned into two hours, and the hours were starting to feel like years because of the lack of anything besides silence and pain. The only thing that was different in their search was a small hut they came across - almost like a shed - and were able to find a few packs of stale crackers, which was basically nothing seeing as they were almost out of water. Still, Seokjin took the food and packed it away for the time being.