The Lost Angel [BxB]

cesar

Maybe ever'body in the whole damn world is scared of each other.

'Of Mice And Men'
[John Steinbeck]

♡ ♡ ♡

13: CESAR

After a long day in the garden, with dirt on his nose, and grass stains on his overalls, Lalo chopped up peaches in the cluttered kitchen of his wooden cabin. As the sun sunk from the pale sky, golden rays of light basked the fields in a pretty honey glow. It was his favourite time of the day, knowing his work was finished until tomorrow, and Rory was on his way back from town.

The door creaked open, and Rory wrapped his arms around Lalo's waist from behind, planting a soft kiss on the nape of his neck. Lalo laughed, and tried squirming out of his grip — he was ticklish. Rory only squeezed him harder, "What are you making?" He murmured in his ear.

"Peach iced tea." Lalo said, pouring the fruity orange drink into a couple of glasses, and spinning around to hand one to Rory, "Is it okay?"

Rory took a sip and smiled, "It's really good. Thanks." He then licked the tip of his thumb and rubbed the end of Lalo's nose, "You've got a bit of dirt..."

Lalo giggled, and shoved him away, wiping his muddy face with his sleeve, "Don't use saliva!"

"Are you kidding? Lalo, you've literally had my dick in your mouth." Rory rose his brows.

"That's different." He insisted stubbornly.

"Yeah? How?"

"It just is." Lalo rolled his eyes, "I'm going to have a shower. Can you start dinner?"

"Sure." Rory agreed, pulling him in for a quick kiss, but the second their lips met, passion and desperation took over. Lalo's shower was forgotten instantly, his mind filling with numbing sensations of hot, flustered, needy desire. Lalo shoved Rory down onto the bed, clambering into his lap and straddling his waist as the kiss deepened.

"Shit." Lalo mumbled into Rory's lips, "I've gotta tell you something really quickly, and then you're gonna fuck me, okay?"

Rory jolted away in shock at the sharpness of Lalo's words, "Uh...what did you just say?"

Lalo crawled out of his lap and crossed his legs, fingers mindlessly tracing the hem of the bedsheets, "Rory, I...uh...I used to have an abusive boyfriend." He blurted out suddenly. It wasn't the entire truth, but it was close enough. Cesar was never his boyfriend, he was his boss. He was a scary man with dead eyes, too much authority, and a free pass to do whatever he wanted with the submissive toys that worked for him. If Lalo was going to be intimate with Rory, then he had to understand. He had to know the reasons behind his hesitant behaviour when it came to sex.

Rory stared at him, eyes blank and glossy, "Lalo." He whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder comfortingly, "I'm so sorry."

Lalo shook his head, "It's okay. I-I don't want sympathy, I just...I want to have sex with you." He smiled sadly, "But I can't do that until I explain." He sighed, "So, that's what I'm going to do."

Rory nodded, brows downturned into a concerned frown, "Do whatever you feel you need to do. I'm right here."

Lalo took a deep breath, "I-I don't even know where to start." His voice was shaky and broken. Amidst all the lies and blurry stories he had created, the devastating truth still remained. He was abused, and the scars he wore on his heart would forever remind him of the pain he had endured. "He would reward me when I was good. Buy me pretty things; things I didn't need, things I didn't want." When he killed Guryon, Cesar bought him a new car, with a hundred grand in the trunk. "B-But when I did something he didn't like, I was punished." When he came back from handling a deal in Mexico, five hundred dollars short, Cesar beat him until he couldn't walk.

"Lalo." Rory drew circles on his back with the tips of his fingers, "That's..."

"D-Don't." He cut him off, forcing a small smile, "If you start giving me a pity, I'm gonna cry, and then I'll never get through this." He laughed lightly, suppressing his tears.

Rory nodded in understanding, "Go ahead."

"It was like Stockholm syndrome. He was my captor, and yet I couldn't leave." This was where it got complex. Lalo couldn't run because he would have been killed by the cartel, but for Rory, the story had to be altered. In this version, Lalo was too in love to ever contemplate leaving Cesar. "He was awful." He continued, "He was a rapist. A-And that's why I needed to tell you all of this, Rory. I-If we get to that stage and I ever freeze up or start panicking, I want you to know that it's not your fault, it's mine."

Rory pulled Lalo close to his chest, his hands cradling his body protectively. Lalo could hear the beating of his heart through his ribcage."It's not your fault, Lalo. It's his." He said dulcetly. "And I am so sorry. One day that fucker will get what's coming to him. He didn't deserve you, no one does."

He looked up at Rory with glistening eyes, "What about you?"

He shrugged, "You're too good for me."

Lalo's heart clenched, "That's not true." His mind pulsated with memories of a past life, corrupted by sin and regret. He was a murderer. He was a criminal. He was a fugitive. Rory deserved so much more.

He numbed the destructive wave of recollections that came crashing over him by pulling Rory in for a kiss. He poured everything he had into it, and what started as a way to end a conversation about Cesar, quickly transformed into a static burst of electricity that spread to the tips of his fingers. He fell back onto the mattress, grabbing a fistful of Rory's shirt in the process, and yanking him down too. Soon, their shirts were off, and with hot flesh pressed together, and swollen lips hungrily searching for more, Rory drew back, "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked breathlessly.

Lalo nodded, "I'm sure." He panted. "Fuck. Do you have a condom?"

"Yeah."

Lalo rose his brows, "Really?"

"Ignacio gave me some when he saw the hickeys on my neck." He explained briefly, chuckling lightly at the memory.

Lalo's eyes widened and cheeks reddened, "Well, that's embarrassing."

Rory laughed, "How about we discuss this later?" He whispered, leaning down to reconnect their lips, his hands tracing every curve of Lalo's body.

They proceeded gently, softly, respectfully, and lovingly. Then they did it again.

And although they were both too afraid to admit it, they fell just a little deeper in love.