Inspired from Wong Fu's prodcution "The Last"
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As they watch the setting sun and the sky be filled with stardust, she had her head lying firmly on his chest. She listened intently to his heartbeat while his hand rubbed her shoulder. They were both lying on the ground but had a blanket beneath them. They were in Ateneo and one of the student organizations arranged a stargazing event. Kiefer took this opportunity to invite his superstar and to simply enjoy this fine night as they gaze into infinity. Kiefer raises his head slightly. He plants a kiss on her head.
“I love you” he whispers before returning his head back on the pillow.
She releases herself from his grasp and sits up. Her legs forming an inverted V and her arms hugged around it. Kiefer was surprised by her gesture and joins her by sitting up as well.
“what’s up?” he asks while placing his hand on her face, his thumb rubbing her cheek.
“nothing’s wrong” she tells him unconvincingly
He gives her a smile but one his brows was slightly raised saying that he does not believe her.
“don’t look at me like that!” this time she says with a chuckle and managing to give his arm a slap
“what’s on your mind na kasi?” he pestered
“I was just thinking…”
“and…?”
“can you tell me the story of the girls that you loved?”
Mika could tell that somehow her question caught him off guard. He had this surprise look on his face and she tried to maintain her neutral expression.
“why are you asking this?”
“I’m curious”
“Miks, do you really wanna talk about it? does is even matter?”
She sighed and replied
“better if I hear it from you than anyone else…”
“are you asking this because they’re ateneans and we’re here in Ate..”
“Kief. I’m asking this because I’m curious. I just want you to be honest with me. If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s okay.”
She lay her head back to his chest. This time, Kiefer sighed. She was right. It’s better they talk about it now than have her hear more stories from an unreliable source. He lifts her head up again positioning himself where they’re both sitting in front of each other.
“3”
“3?”
“there were 3 girls before you”
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Risks
I was a mere highschool sophomore. Like any highschool student who studies in an exclusive all boys school, the only time I started having girl friends was every time our class arranged a soiree. We had soirees with almost all of the exclusive girl schoosl. Well, schools near ours more specifically. Being a sophomore this was the time where we attended a lot of those since everyone wanted to be friends with a girl who will hopefully bring her to prom. That was where I met puppy. it was on a Friday night. It was our classroom that invited them. Our class was pretty excited since a lot of my classmates had a crush on that specific school and section. We did the usual speed dating. Puppy stood out. It was not because of her physique but because of her mind. When we talked, her eyes glistened as she shared about the things that she loved. Eventually I asked for her number and well texted each other all day and night. I was that sucker highschool boy head over heels over a girl. First girl I ever courted. First girl I said I love you too. Junior year came and I asked her to prom. I attended her school fair. Her friends and I helped me with the preparation. We walked over to the Ferris wheel and I made her look at the compartments. As the ferris wheel turned, our friends held signs that wrote “PROM WITH ME?” although our peers said there was nothing to worry about since they were so sure she’d say yes. To hear her actually say it live sent butterflies to my stomach.
But it was that. Just that. Puppy love obviously. We were teenagers and we wanted to risk it. To experience what it feels like to be in love…without even contemplating if we actually loved each other.
Time
By now I guess you may have an idea of the story. We met during the early days of my college years. She’s an athlete. Maybe that’s what attracted me more, we were both in love with the same sport. I finally understood the feeling of watching your girlfriend’s game and cheering your heart out for her. She doubted. She didn’t think I was serious. But I took it as a challenge and continued to shower her with my love until she stopped questioning and said yes. She’s the first girl I proudly introduced to my parents as the girl whom I love so much. I wanted to be like those guy in romcom movies where he would just continuously let her know she loves him. Flowers, stuff toys, food. You name it. however, since we were both athletes. Time was not always in our favor. I have been too complacent. Just because she was an athlete and we both had schedules to follow does not entail that we both should treat each other as the second one on the list of priorities.
I lost her before I realized that.
Picture
Now for her, I’m not gonna lie how I already pictured my future with her. She’s a dancer. She may not be an athlete, but like me she also had commitments. We were not alike. What we had was the very definition of opposites attract. Despite the differences, it worked for us since it complimented each other. We met when she was assigned to be our student manager. So naturally we were almost inseparable. She took care of the team and a little more of me. she was close with my family. more so with my brother and a little with my mom. When your family is involved how can I not picture her being part of it? now allow me to quote what might be the most overrated love line in all romcom Filipino movies “She had me at my worst.” You know how that season was my lowest. So many things were being presented and it was all too good to say no to. Who would have thought it would cost me so much. But she was there. She was there to lift my spirits up. Just like she said she would. I loved her even more.
I was selfish. She was there for me but I could not do the same thing for her. I tried my best and did my best, but I was too caught up in my own depression that I did not realize I was pulling her down with me. I love her. I love her so much that I knew she does not deserve this. Letting her go is the best decision. Not because it would save me from the guilt but it would save her from the pain. She has such a bright future and she deserves someone who can promise to be there at every milestone. I wish I was that guy but I guess the Big Guy up there had other plans.
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“sounds like you really loved them” she says
“I did” he replied
Kiefer grabs Mika’s hand and pulls her closer to him. He makes her sit in between his legs. He wraps his arms around again and embraces her tightly.
“I realized something” he whispers to her ear
“what may that be?” she asks turning her head around. Now their faces were simply centimeters apart.
“this was all part of God’s plan. If I had not fallen in love thrice then how else will I deserve you? We’re both athletes and we understand how time is the enemy. but I will never treat you as my second priority. I will make time. Most importantly I will give you my time…Now the journey to my so-called redemption was not a stroll at the park. You were there for me all throughout. But I knew this journey was not only for me, but yours as well. I promised you I would be there for you and hopefully I still live up to that vow. And like you said, loving you makes me feel like every moment is my first one. The first girl I pursued, the first girl I kissed, the first girl I ever said I love you too. But to say you’re the first one I ever loved would be a lie. I loved other girls. I fell in love thrice. But if there is any truth to the things I said…it’s this: You’re the only girl I would risk anything for. You’re the only girl I ever gave my time to. You’re the only girl whom I picture my future with. But above all, You’re the only girl I ever loved right.”
