All according to plan.
On a mission to become a cold mutha fucka, a forward thinking man.
Master of my emotions, guider of my own destiny.
Here's a lil more backstory on the unnecessary shit that's been stressin' me:
My circle's smaller than the hole in a cheerio.
Don't like to complain about my problems, so when niggas see me all sour, to them I'm all cynical.
But I'm the realest nigga breathin', put on my soul, my entity.
The lack of connection started with my family.
The only person I ever felt I could talk to was my sister.
Told her all my deepest secrets, popped the pressure built up in me like a blister.
My mistake was calling her whenever I had an issue.
Felt like a bitch using her as an emotional tissue.
Kinda confusing, cause when I called when it was all good, she wasn't havin' it.
Basically told the kid to get a life, made me wanna put our relationship in a cabinet.
Made me grow distant cause I don't think she truly understood my pain.
I think I need to relearn the English language cause niggas don't get it when I explain.
& I get frustrated, not wanting to talk to a single soul cause they wanna offer a solution.
When I just need a person willing to listen to my journey through life's confusion.
Fuck it though, back to the mission.
Family scattered, ain't my fault, I appreciate the distance.
Ion expect nothin from no one, cause expectations come with a price.
High risk, no reward? Man, you can keep the dice.
When I write, I feel like every topic's the same.
How I'mma preach self improvement when every story sounds like I complain?
Tryna stay forever creative, but worried about the past's scars & the future's destination,
& never enjoying the present, what a horrific combination.............
Maybe I'm thinkin' too much, I prolly just need some time.
It feels like it's running short, I just wanna rewind,
Back to the beginning with all the knowledge I have now so I can guide myself towards victory.
Maybe then I'd have a better time dealing with these hoes.
One got me in my feelings, the net tripped me up from below.
We had an instantly deep connection I still miss to this day.
But she got a million & one problems, Ion wanna be apart of her dismay.
I'm tired of talkin bout her cause the shit's a dead horse now.
Walkin pass each other as if we don't even exist, wow.
A nigga was just hurt & needed time to heal.
There's too many females on this planet to be stuck on who I thought was "The One" for real............
The music still resonates in my soul.
Singin' my heart out for brighter days cause that's when I feel in most control.
I care about shitty people, the past, & hurt more than my well being.
The Creator must be having a ball watching me flop all his tests from the ceiling.
All my mentors tellin me the code, but it takes consistency & hard work.
Then niggas will love & appreciate you once you prove your worth.
Man, shit like that makes me wanna relocate to a unmapped island forever.
Tellin me that these fake ass niggas only wanna fuck with you when you better.
Ion like kickin it with nobody when I'm down.
Projecting your insecurities onto other people, you a straight clown.
Using & manipulating others for your personal gain, how fucked up you gotta be?
Check my moral codes, cause y'all Niggas could never stop me.
& when it's all said & done, the afterlife is supposedly paradise, right?
Guess since Ion follow god or his teachings, I'mma burn for so many days & nights.
& I ain't scared of it cause I know deep down in the bottom of my essence,
That I'm a good soul with fantastic intentions, so every choice I make, I'll never regret it.
Hopefully, I'll be surrounded by people who down from the jump.
CoolAid, I know you reading, nigga don't you ever give up.
Cause if I gotta suffer through this mental pain to become the greatest,
I'm pushin you till your very being becomes elated.
We wasn't put on this earth just to grieve & suffer.
Come from bad pasts that makes you wish you were buried beneath the gutters.
A nigga just had to vent cause shit was too much to bear.
So many thoughts lingering in the dome, caused me unnecessary despair.
The story of how Maãlík becomes cold still continues on.
But only the real niggas are allowed to ride along.
- Maãlík
