[ROUND 3 CLOSED]
The perfect place to get constructive feedback on your books when you need it, or even a nice ego boost! Everyone is welcome. I really hope you enjoy!
☁first impressions (22.5/25): Girl. The cover. Is. So. Phenomenal. I fell in love with it the moment I laid eyes on it, and I hope you never change it. It fits your aesthetic while being so cute .(the girl is wearing lenses after all hehe) Major kudos for that. I've never seen a Kpop book with the name "Lens" before, but it sucks that when I search it up, there are lots of other books with that name. Also, I think it could be more plot-relevant, so maybe add to it to make it stand out from the crowd. And finally, I think you can add more to the description. I really want to know what happens in the book, and for this, you can add a few more sentences to describe what we're getting into. For example, that it's a spy au! Overall, super attractive and the book draws me right in at first glance.
☁grammar & sentence structure (13.5/15): You have a good grasp of basic grammar, and I rarely saw mistakes in the text, just places where commas could be used and whatnot. A light copy edit will get rid of those mistakes no problem. The sentence structures are also pretty good and they kept the prose interesting to read! You made use of compound sentences and simple alike, and you obviously know what you're doing. Great job!
☁plot (22/30): I really like how the plot is hinted at through the chapter titles, a reference to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. I think it's so creative and lets readers feel like they're in on a little secret. The plot itself is pretty unique; I've seen Spy AUs before but I haven't seen it take quite this turn before. However, I feel like it's a tiny bit all over the place. I often feel confused about what's happening or why it's happening in the first place. I think details can really flesh that out and put everything into perspective. Also, I think the subplots can be explained a bit more, as well. This ties into my flow section, but you can afford to slow down and explain things! Overall, I think this has a lot of potential, and all you need to do is slow down and make sure to think from the audience's perspective.
☁characters (15/20): The characters and their motivations are well explained throughout, which is good. The side characters also are intertwined with each other, and this is the sign of a well thought out character dynamic! I can tell you really thought about their characters, and it definitely shows through how they interact with each other. I can see them as real people. However, there are some spots that I wasn't sure about. For example, I wasn't sure why Eunbyul and Taehyung were together. (Well, I do, but speaking from an outsider's perspective) I think you can expand on the star-crossed lovers aspect by drawing it out further, which means revising the plot a bit. You don't want the main characters to get together just because. Make sure their motivations make sense THROUGHOUT, including their actions and dialogue.
☁writing style (18/20): I feel like your writing style fluctuates throughout the book, but it's an interactive type that's pretty cool. It brings a lot of life into the work. I've seen this style done a lot of times, and I think the key is not to overdo it and to stay consistent, which in your case rarely wavers at all. I really like when you write details in this style, as well. You're very talented and I wish you would actually do it more, because I feel like I'm reading something totally unique, and there's definitely a saturation of the same words on Wattpad, but I don't know girl. Your details are something else. Anyway, keep it up!
☁flow (7/10): In my opinion, I think you could afford to slow down. Don't be afraid to linger on the moments that should be lingered on. I know you're fantastic at writing description, and you should use that to your advantage. I sometimes get confused at where the characters are and stuff because it feels like I'm rushing past the plot, so just slow down and make sure you're getting all the right details. Other than that, the chapter lengths are perfect, and the paragraphs are not too long but not too short. It's really nice and not intimidating for newcomers.
☁total score: 98/120 or 81.7%!
WAAA! DAEBAK!
☁optional advice nook: make the title a little more unique, add to the description, add more detail to your writing to flesh out certain scenes/slow things down and go back to really rework the plot and put everything into perspective. Look at WHY things are happening and WHAT they lead up to.
☁song nook: Here are some songs I thought of while reading this! I really wanted to go for a gritty yet energetic feeling with all of these songs, because I feel like Eunbyul and her gang have a lot of spunk. I also wanted to get across a sultry feel, because one of the scenes I really liked was the formal party that they went to, and it just stuck with me. Hope you like these!
♔MAKE ME GO by TWICE♔
♔Like It by CLC♔ (you KNOW I had to add a CLC song in here hehe)
♔Shut up & Groove by HEIZE♔
♔Scream by DREAMCATCHER♔
☁summary: Please don't be discouraged by your score, because I genuinely like Lens. I love the characters and your writing style, as well as how your plot is progressing. Take my advice, think through your story a bit, and I know you'll be golden.
Aaaand... that's it for the review! Comments, questions, concerns, please let me know. This week has been crazy on the news, so I hope that isn't affecting anyone's mental health. Feel free to contact me if you need someone to vent to or just talk to or need someone to listen!
