Barely surviving (A VA fanfic)

Holding on: hope is all I have

RPOV
Alberta woke me sometime after I'd cried myself to sleep. "You need to eat, Rose. You should be at your strongest when he wakes."
"I really don't have an appetite right now," I sleepily commented as I took a donut from the food tray she'd parked in front of me.
"Atta girl. You really are a mess, Rose. I can see the tear stains. You're emotional-battle worn. I've never seen you so exhausted," she noted kindly as she sat in the chair she'd pulled to my side. "You cried yourself to sleep, didn't you?" Alberta asked after sighing.
"I may have," I reluctantly admitted under my breath.
"I had Lissa bring you a bag of stuff. I'm assuming you're not leaving until he does. I should be kicking your ass to your dorm and have a guard outside your door..."
"But?" I failed at trying to raise a single brow.
"He'll likely lose it if you're not the first thing he sees."
"He'll lose it at me when he sees me."
"Why? You saved his extremely valuable backside, and you think he'll reprimand you over it?"
"I know he will. I'm in for a lecture and zen life lesson, or two, or three, or four... Maybe more. Why do you think? I disobeyed an order to retreat in order to save a dhampir."
Alberta shook her head in what seemed to be disappointment and disapproval. "If he does, call me. I'll give him a lecture to rival his own. Sure, you shouldn't have done it, but one more Strigoi is gone, two if you consider he could have been turned, and one more valuable guardian is still in the ranks to continue saving lives. Nothing about the last forty hours has really been done the 'should' way." The mention of time passing had me checking his blood transfusion progress. "It's the second transfusion and second drip. Things are looking better than when he came in but you're in for a tough few days, there's still a chance he may slip into a coma." I nearly choked on my second donut. I knew guardian protocol, eighteen days in a coma, on life support, and the plug was pulled. If family was around, they were often urged to pull the plug after ten to twelve.
"If he goes that way it will fall on my shoulders, won't it?" I was now thirteen days away from being eighteen, and if he was in a coma on my birthday I'd be asked to kill him.
"Yes. I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry. That's not something anyone should face, and it will fall on you on your birthday if he slips." Alberta's mask was down, she honestly was sorry and hated that she had to hand me that truth. "Go on. I know you want to curl up next to him. I've got a few spare hours."
"Thanks, but do you really want to watch nothing happening?" I scoffed down the donut I'd almost choked on, and started in on the French Toast.
"It's not that I'm worried about. I couldn't care less right now, I want no one else walking in."

Wow. Okay. I knew Alberta was awesome, but not this awesome. I finished the French Toast, told her "thanks", and jumped up onto the bed, curling up next to my marvellous man. So much for nothing happening. As soon as Dimitri felt my head on his chest, over his heart, it raced and he pulled me closer to him, arms tightening around my waist. Mine copied and I sighed dreamily. If only he wasn't so close to death. I now knew what Dimitri had felt multiple times in the short few months I'd known him.
"Talk about cute!" Alberta commented.
"Alberta, it'd be cute if he wasn't about to join Mason in haunting me as a ghost!" I snapped. She said nothing and Dimitri's heartbeat lulled me to sleep.

Alberta woke me before she left. Telling me to have a shower, get changed and eat the lunch she'd had Adrian bring me.

I kissed my soulmate's cheek and rather reluctantly disentangled. Once upright I found the bag of stuff Alberta had mentioned earlier. Following instructions (for once in my life), I showered and changed. Despite the soothing and relaxing warm water, I lost it again. Eventually, I pulled myself together enough to change, then return to my seat and the food in front of it. I didn't taste any of it and I didn't mind that.

Lissa visited. Followed by the doctor to give my man another blood transfusion and drip. Adrian entered not long after the doc left... And was still with me when she returned.

My mother turned up not too long after Dr Olendzki left the second time. "You're a disaster," she sighed sadly as she set food in front of me and sat opposite.
"Thanks," I bitterly muttered. "I thought I was getting better."
"Rose. You're physically fine, clean and tidy, but your energy isn't there. You're not the frozen robot we found in Spokane nor are you the traumatised, mourning victim you were afterwards. Right now, there's an air around you. A sort of hopeless and deflated, weary, worn and exhausted air you're exuding."
"I've got hope! That's all I've got right now, it's all that keeps me eating and staying in this room."
"What am I missing, Rose?"
"I'm scared. Okay!? I'm scared for him, I'm scared of how close to death he is right now. I'm f*****g terrified."
That's when realisation hit. "Life support protocol will fall on you if he goes into a coma? If he's comatose on your birthday they're going to ask you to pull the plug, aren't they? Someone else knows and will treat an adult you as his partner, his next of kin, and ask you to make the choice between life and death?"
"Yes, they will. Alberta's warned me, as has Dr Olendzki. I can't do that, Mom, I can't do that to him. If he goes into a coma, I can't make that choice." Tears were falling again.
"Oh, Rose," she pulled me into her arms and let me cry myself to sleep.

Alberta must have returned at some point, because I felt someone lifting me onto the bed. I was as peaceful as could be when I heard my other half's beating heart, the reassurance he was still fighting sent me to sleep.

I heard the doc come in three times throughout the night. Once, I swear I heard her mention he'd become comatose. I vaguely remember being pricked with a needle or something after thinking I heard that my worst nightmare was coming to life.