Xanum

Chapter Ten

Uh, what?" Tony asked. He was sitting on the ground next to the fire with his legs crossed. I scanned the clearing and Fayne was gone.

"Where'd Fayne go?" I asked Tony. My voice came out sounding much more desperate than I had intended.

"What happened to you?" Tony asked, standing up and facing me.

"What do you mean?" I replied, trying to shake the subject off.

"I mean, you come right out of your little trance, you say 'vengeance', and now you sound as if you're terrified. So again, idiot, what happened to you?" he asked. He made eye contact and crossed his arms. I didn't say anything for a few seconds, hoping that he would drop the subject, but he clearly had no intention of doing so. I caved under the pressure.

"Fine, I'll tell you," I said. He nodded and sat down. "I saw Xanum again. I saw my mom too, and she puked bugs down my throat," I explained.

"Wait, so your mom puked down your throat? You're into some weird stuff dude," he said. He chuckled, but I stayed silent. The whole experience was far from fun, and there was absolutely nothing of comedic value in my statements or visions. "Oh, you're serious."

"Yeah, I'm serious. I know, it's such a change from the usual crap. But yeah, Xanum beat me up, and then I went to some sort of void, and I saw another version of me, one that never beat Xanum. He was obsessed and he was insane. So I came up with a new purpose, one that would allow me to escape my own head," I explained.

"Vengeance. So, after you kill Xanum, what'll your purpose for life be?"

"I dunno, I don't really think that matters right now," I said.

"So basically, you can't even go into your own mind without fighting imaginary enemies?" Tony asked.

"Nah," I replied, rubbing my hands.

"Dude, how many times do I have to tell you that this is all in your head?" he asked. He sounded annoyed. I made eye contact before responding.

"Yeah, I know it's all in my head, but that doesn't change the fact that it's still happening, and I don't know how to solve it," I said helplessly. I looked down at the ground, and dread filled my chest as Tony took a moment to respond.

"You don't seem to get my point, you idiot," he said. I looked up at him, confused.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"That dude killed my mom right in front of my face, and yet I'm not sitting there dreaming about him. I'm not crying, I'm not sad. Why do you think that is?" he asked, looking me in the eyes.

"Well... I don't know."

"You're in your head, man. Knock it off and think for a minute. Fayne told us that we're supposed to be these legendary dudes that can strike down a god. Two dudes that can kill Xanum. We've had a literal lightning storm go through our bodies, we're destined to become these unstoppable dudes that can kill whatever did this to this forest, and yet you're scared of this formless thing? We've faced it before, we escaped. We've travelled to different fucking earths for God's sake, Jax. We were born for this, and if Xanum is destined to fall at our hands, then that means he will. He's no threat to us at all. At this point, I don't have any enemies, and I'm confident in myself. But you, dude. You've got an enemy, and if all of what I've just said is true, it's the most dangerous kind of enemy," he said.

I waited for him to finish, but he spoke no more. "Who is this enemy?" I asked. He looked me dead in my eyes again.

"You."

"I'm my own enemy?" I asked, confused.

"You're the only enemy you've got," he said. He got up and walked back to the shack. I sat on my log for a while, pondering everything I knew. My only enemy was me, and yet I couldn't win against myself. I  couldn't run, I couldn't fight, my mother's body seemed to be immune to my attacks, plus  I didn't want to taste her puke again, and I didn't even know where to begin when it came to attacking Xanum. It was faster than me, and if it wanted to it could kill me just by touching me. As the sky got darker and the stars were blinking into existence, I was getting nowhere, and the fire had burnt out some time ago. The robe had kept me warm, but now it wasn't warm enough to ward off the night's chill. It was time to head back to Fayne's shack.