Cigarettes

Songs For You

Days passed and Bora couldn't stop thinking about the wolf. She sighed, defeated as she buried her face on her deformed pillow.

"Mom?" Phil called, beaming as he wore the hat Siyeon bought for him,"Please say thank you to your friend for buying me the hat!"

"Phil," Bora began, averting her eyes as she brought up the subject,"Can I really not change your mind about Siyeon?"

"I hate her," Phil pouted,"I want to cry just thinking about what she did,"

"But what if mommy loves her?" Bora asked, careful in choosing her words,"What if mommy wants her by her side?"

"But she might hurt you...," Phil frowned, worry on his face,"I don't want mommy near her again,"

"Okay,"

A few hours later, Phil was tucked in a warm blanket inside Bora's room as he peacefully slept. Sighing, Bora left the room and plopped on the couch where Yoohyeon sat. The latter was mindlessly scrolling through her phone while the television played.

"You seem a little on edge," Bora stated, studying the woman's expression as she squeezed her hand,"Something wrong?"

"Just...,"Yoohyeon began, frustrated,"Minji confessed to me,"

Bora blinked, amused,"Whoa,"

"But she has been ignoring me for weeks now...!" Yoohyeon complained, whining,"She won't even hear me out,"

Bora opened her mouth to speak,"I'll try to talk to her,"

"Thank you," Yoohyeon sighed,"But I think I can handle this,"

Bora nodded as a sentimental song played on the television. It was a the music video of newly debuted artist, Bae Jinyoung. The video immediately entranced Bora with the facial expressions he made which matched the solemn lyrics. The words greatly matched her current situation and Bora soon found herself engrossed in the music video she failed to notice Yoohyeon trying to catch her attention.

"Unnie???"

Images of Siyeon's apologetic smile appeared in Bora's head as she felt the song enter her heart. It was embracing her in an apologetic hug just like Siyeon. No, it felt like Siyeon.

Can we not go back?
Can I not hug you like we had an argument?
I want to turn back further
To when I first saw you

Bora wrapped her arms around herself as she felt her heart ache one more while watching Bae Jinyoung cry in black clothing infront of a chair with white flowers sitting on it. It was for someone who passed away, yet Bora didn't care. It already seemed like Siyeon passed away in their current situation; unreachable, missing presence.

I love you
I'm saying I love you a lot
I love you
I miss you so much
I need you
I want to hug you
I couldn't be good to you
Behind you
I'll just try to recollect memories

Bora swallowed the lump in her throat, her eyes fixated on the TV screen as the last few lines completely broke her apart.

I'm sorry to you

She covered her mouth with her small hand as she choked back sobs,"Siyeon,"

"Unnie," Yoohyeon frowned, wrapping her in a comforting hug,"I'm sorry,"

Bora leaned to her touch, desperate for comfort as the music video ended. She muffled her cries using her own hand, she closed her eyes as she remembered her lover.