Bleeding Hearts || Elliot Walker

SEVEN: FORGETTING

HER LIPS CRUSH against mine in a hurry of passion and I quickly find myself giving in to her ways and kissing her back, the questions that were in my head forgotten as she runs her tongue along my bottom lip asking for entrance, I gasp, it was uncommon for her to initiate the kiss normally it was me who initiated the make out sessions so it was easy for her to slip her tongue in my mouth and feed her hands through my hair pulling me closer to her body

I pull back a little and can see the hunger in her eyes 

"Elliot" She rasps, longing in her voice "I need you ... I need to forget"

Because I'm stronger than Tori is this time when she tries to pull me into her I resit although I didn't want to and she was seriously turning me on looking at me through her dark lashes and her curly hair tangled around my fists but I really needed to find out where her head was at 

"Wanna talk about it?" I ask her lowly and quietly 

"No" She whispered back softly "I want you"

Before I could say anything else her lips are attached to mine again and I moan into her mouth as her tongue explores my mouth and she pushes me into the wall behind me, her hands running through my hair as Tori breaks our kiss for a moment before giving me a kisses on the jaw that ran down my to my collarbone 

"We shouldn't be doing this here" I tell her almost in a pleading mode 

"Shh" Tori shushes me "We'll be fine. Stop looking like your going to piss yourself"

It goes on like this for a few hours both of us using the other person to forget our troubles and even though I knew we shouldn't be doing this, I couldn't find it in myself to stop, somehow I needed her like she needed me ... 

I don't quite understand it 

But then again I haven't understood anything recently, I haven't understood why the girl in front of me effects me the way she did or the anger I felt coursing through my veins to my very core when I'm not around her nor do I understand the events that led me to being in the mental jail in the first place; that night is still foggy and I can't remember what was going through my head at that time, I don't remember if I took pills or cut my wrists open until I passed out from the loss of blood 

According to the doctors when I woke up, it was the latter

"I need to get to my therapy session now" Tori tells me her voice barely above as a whisper as she steps backwards her dark eyes still glimmering "But I will see you at dinner and if your lucky I'll sneak into your room later tonight after the nurses have done their nightly rounds"

"Okay" I wink at her "I look forward to that"

She smirked as she sorted out her rumpled clothes and messy hair and smudged makeup from our heated make out session and walked out from the the back of the building where no cameras stood proud trying to alert the nurse of suspicious behaviour from the residents -- it was the only place on the campus that had no cameras and the nurses didn't check here that often thinking that people would never get here without being caught on camera at least once and then when they do they drag the unlucky bastard back to their room and restrict their visiting privileges 

After Tori leaves I am alone again and my thoughts pick up like a whirlwind tearing everything in its path until nothing is left and its destroyed everything than it can so to drown out the angry voices I slide down the wall and sit on the grass knotting it between my fingers and pulling up weeds and green stems and until I have ripped out all the grass around me I don't stop

Putting my headphones on I try to drown on my angry thoughts with music from Imagine Dragons and Fall Out Boy. The two bands were my favourite bands ever as their music speaks to me in the ways other music can't 

Closing my eyes I let a sigh pass through my lips and pull at the soft ground more getting dirt caught in my nails but I don't really care as the soft beat of the music continues to thud through my ears

"Elliot? What are you doing here?"

A familiar voice causes my head to snap up to see a mass of red hair and chunky black glasses waling towards me, I curse in my head thinking she's going to tell me off but I don't say or do anything as she comes to sit down next to me, her knees hugging her chest as she bumps her shoulder I realise she wanted an answer so another sigh passes through my stiff lips as I  push out "Forgetting"

"Forgetting?" She repeats with a raised eyebrow "Forgetting what?"

"Why do you care?" I snip at her harshly but she doesn't blink an eye

"Remember what I told you during our first therapy session Mr Walker" Rachel warns lowly, but there is a hint of teasing behind her tone "Look Elliot I can only help you, if you let me help you, which means you need to talk to me, which still holds true I need you to trust and talk to me about something -- about anything because then I can help you and see that you are getting better. I thought you were a few weeks ago but you seemed to have regressed. Why is that?"

"Because of life" I answered simply

"Want to explain?" Rachel presses for answers even more

"Not really" I tell her before dusting myself off and using the wall to help myself stand up and then I tear the headphones from my head knowing that it be a real pain to detangle the wire later but at that point I didn't care. 

I didn't care about anything