Loving Both

Chapter 01

September 2000

I was at the entrance to the University of Lisbon. I had been accepted a few months prior. I was about to start a new journey at the Faculty of Architecture, which I hoped would guarantee me the future I always dreamed of, to have my architecture firm. It wasn't Yale or Bristol but for me, it was prestigious enough.

I should have been excited to start classes, but instead, I was nervous, my palms were sweaty, and my heartbeat was uneven, understandably. I was far from home, away from my only friends, living in an apartment I shared with another student from the same university.

She was... Odd, to say the least. A tall girl too thin for her height, who wore black from head to toe and on all occasions. She was covered in piercings and tattoos and didn't talk much. I didn't even have time to know her name because in the week that I was there, we only had one conversation that sounded more one-sided than an actual conversation.

That's when she informed me that I didn't need to know her name because she wouldn't be around long enough for that to matter, in the minimum amount of words she could, it was impressive to talk so little and say so much.

Apart from that conversation I only saw her once, when I wished her "good morning", she just looked at me as if I had grown a pair of extra limbs.

My stay in Lisbon wasn't going as I expected. People were not very friendly; they took care of their own lives too much to notice the next person. I had nothing against it but for an islander to witness such phenomena, it was hard to get used to.

I was afraid to start university and be unable to make any kind of friendship and end up alone, in the rented minuscule room eating huge pots of ice cream surrounded by books of architecture history.

At least for now, I decided not to think about it and head to the orientation. Ignoring my nervous state, I took a deep breath and walked right in, determined. A few minutes later I reached the hall where the orientation was going to be held.

I took advantage of the excitement that was there to look around, without looking for anything specific, just trying to become acquainted with my surroundings and try to fit in.

I noticed that there were not only Portuguese students but also French, Italians, Africans, Chinese, and a small group that by the accent and features I would say they were Ukrainians. As soon as the spokeswoman turned on the microphone, it caused an irritating hiss that involuntarily made me put my hands over my ears and cover them. There was silence and the spokeswoman started by asking us to organize ourselves into groups according to our major.

I looked around to see a sea of students as confused as I was. Until she decided to ease the task:

"Law students go to the right, Architecture to the left ..."

I stopped listening to her and approached a group of students clustered on the left side of the hall. I tried to greet some of the students, but I was left with no answer, receiving only a half-smile from a girl with a small body, copper hair, and a nose ring, but we didn't exchange a single word.

After we were handed the schedule, we followed the spokeswoman for a short guided tour around the university.

On the first days, small traditional celebrations were organized by the older students, where they painted our faces and threw flour. On the first day, it was fun but the truth is that on the third day, it was already boring me to death to have to get home and face a struggle to remove all the flour from my hair.

On the fifth day, the usual celebrations were finished, much to my relief, and from then on, the classes were restored to a normal pace.

Two eventless weeks passed by and I still hadn't made any kind of friendship.