genre: angst
「 GONE 」
he still remembered the first day he met you, as bright as day, even if he tried to bury the memory deep in the pits of his hollow heart.
it was currently three in the morning. not a perfect time to be sentimental. being sentimental brought him nowhere, so he stopped being sentimentalーstopped having feelings altogether.
after you left, it was as if you took his feelings and expressions away with you, leaving only a hollow shell of what semi eita used to be.
but as the seconds passed and the water drip, he felt the familiar feeling of sadness and pain once more, and slowly but surely, your face began to form in his mind.
he hated it. he hated it so much. the way he couldn't let go of you, not even after you were gone. he desperately tried to forget you, but at the same time, he clinged desperately onto memories of you. those last bits and pieces of you were like his life jacket, keeping him afloat during times where he feels like life is threatening to push him to the sea bed.
semi closed his eyes, trying to picture your smile once more in his mind.
the smile before he was notified of your death.
that bright, shining smile. the eyes that twinkled and gleamed beautifully under any lighting. the laugh that could immediately make his shitty day better.
those things only exists in his memory now.
broken pieces of you, swimming around in the back of his mind, your voice replaying over and over again, like a broken record playerー
"eita! let's go get coffee together!"
"eita, that looks like a cool ride! wanna ride it? bet you'll chicken out."
"eita, you'll never leave me... right?"
"eita, where have you been?! i missed you!"
"eita, you're my favourite person in the world."
eita.
eita.
eita.
eita.
"eita, i love you!"
tears started to roll down his cheeks and dampen his pillow. the corner of his mouth lifted into a broken smile as he replayed your voice over and over again in his mind.
"i miss you... [ name ]," he muttered. his voice held no emotion to them, like he was saying it from memory. memories he couldn't really keep. memories that would appear and disappear at a blink of an eye.
a sudden image of a bloody knife flashed in his mind.
and he suddenly remembered.
the sad and broken smile turned into that of a psychopath's.
the knife being grasped tightly in his hand.
you, laying in a pool of your own blood, your eyes flashing fear before turning dull.
he started to laugh hysterically while trashing around, banging stuff onto the walls and struggling in his straight jacket, thus alerting his caretakers to his cell.
they had to hold him down and inject him with some serum to calm him down. once his eyelids fluttered close, the last thing he thought before the same cycle happens when he wakes up, was your faceーgrinning up at him while you hug him tightly by the waist.
"eita, i love you!"
