I was having a bad dream. I was in a house with someone. They hurt me and I couldn't escape. I was screaming and crying my eyes out and no one heard me. The guy was about to stab me, but then I woke up. I woke up in some bed and was in a room. I looked around and saw James on the side of me under the covers...naked. I looked at myself and I didn't have any clothes on. Now I remember everything that happened. My dream wasn't a bad dream. It was a nightmare that actually came true. I looked around the room to see if I can find my clothes. They were on the floor in the corner of the room. I tried moving, but my body was in pain. I kept trying and trying, but I couldn't. It was hard because I couldn't make any noise because I didn't want James to wake up. I can't even look at him. I thought he was my brother. I guess he didn't see it like that. I felt something drip down my side. I lifted up the covers and saw a lot of blood coming from my side. I forgot that I got shot in my side. It kept bleeding a lot and I felt a little dizzy. I tried getting up, but I sat right back down because my head hurts. Once I laid back down I felt two pair of arms wrap around me. It was James. He woke up and I think it was because of me. Danm it why did I have to make so much noise. J: good morning beautiful. I had fun. I tried getting out of his grasp, but I was to weak. N: please...just leave me alone.
J: now why would I want to do that? Your mine and you aren't anyone else's. He tried kissing me, but I moved away. He got mad and grabbed my face and forced a kiss on me. He let me go and got up from the bed to change.
J: I suggest you get up as well. Because once this is all over me, you and the others are going to leave New Jersey and go somewhere else.
N: I don't want to go. I'm not going with you anywhere. I'm staying here where I belong and you can't stop me from doing that. J: you really think you have a say in this huh? Well guess what you don't. You are mine and forever going to be mine. Your going to listen to me and your going to deal with it. N: NO!! If I want to leave I can leave. Your not the boss of me and once this is all over I'm going to the police and- I was cut off by James punching me in the stomach. I held my stomach in pain while my other hand was on my side to stop the bleeding. J: your not going anywhere!! Your coming with me and that is final!!
N: what...what about your girlfriend? Does she know you did this to me? J: I don't care about her. I was only using her so I can get my mind off of you. Now that I have you, she will be out of the picture. N: your sick!! J: I'm not sick...it is just how life works. Now get up and get ready. He kissed me on the lips and I pushed him away and wiped my lips. J: don't act like you don't like it. Bye beautiful. He left the room and I was still on the bed. I tried getting up from the bed again, but failed. I had to get up. I needed to leave this place before anything else happens. I finally got the strength that I needed and got up from the bed. I tried walking, but held onto things around the room. I was heading to the bathroom while I had the blanket wrapped around me. I successfully made it to the bathroom and saw my stuff on the ground. I got my backpack and put it on the counter. I got out the bandages and alcohol. Once I got those out I dropped the blanket and saw myself in the mirror. I saw what was all over my body and I started crying. There was bruises, hickies, scratches and blood all over my body. I can't believe what that monster did to me. I felt so used and disgusting. I wanted to die right then and there. I didn't want to be here anymore. I want to leave and go back to my friends. My body hurt so bad and I felt worthless. I feel like this is all my fault. All the memories came back to me like an avalanche. I can still hear the screaming and the crying. I can still feel James hands on me. I feel so disgusting. My own brother literally rapped me. Well he was my brother, but now I can't see him as anything anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. I need to get out of here. I wiped my tears and tried to calm myself down. Once I did I got a rag and put alcohol on it. I put it on my side and I felt the burn , but I didn't have a reaction. I guess I couldn't feel anymore or I don't have emotions. I'm numb and I can't feel anything. I rapped my side up and went to go look for my clothes. I found them on the ground and put them on. Once I was done I got my stuff and tried looking for a way out. I went to the door and I tried opening it, but it was locked. James must have locked it so I wouldn't get out. I went to the windows and tried opening them, but they were locked as well. I felt claustrophobic all of a sudden. I was freaking out so I started throwing things. I got a chair and threw it at the windows to see if it would break. There wasn't even a scratch on it. I started to freak out more and I started to hyperventilate. I kept banging on the windows and the door. I threw a vase and it broke. The glass went everywhere and I just froze. I was just standing there while a tear ran down my cheek. I sat on the floor and just started crying again. I cried my eyes out and I just wanted to yell. How can someone do that to family? That was when I decided that I needed to let it out. I yelled and I yelled my lungs off. I didn't care if anyone heard me, I needed to let it all out. I kept screaming and I didn't stop. My throat hurts like hell, but I didn't care. I still kept screaming my lungs off like there was no tomorrow. Everything came rushing to my head again. I couldn't stop it so I just let every memory come back to me. The pain, the crying, the screaming. I just wanted everything to stop. I stopped screaming and I just let out a loud sob. I curled up in a ball and just kept crying. What do I do now? I can't escape this hellhole. I just want to leave and be with my friends. Why did this have to happen? Why did I leave in the first place? I want to go back. I want to go back home.
