Fan! [YiZhan FF]✔️

-2- Silent night

-2- Silent night

After a restless night I called the gas company first, then the power company, my telephone provider and asked them to temporarily shut down my supply.

After that I drove to the hardware store and got a gas bottle, which I will connect to my ancient gas stove. So I will at least be able to cook, if I have food for it.

Next I drove to the decoration shop and got myself several solar and battery powered light chains and many batteries. At home I placed the light chains in my apartment and attached the tiny solar panels to the outside of my windows. Luckily it is winter and so these light chains were not too expensive.

Since I don't have the water turned off, at least, I don't have to worry about it.

Luckily my best friend Peng Chuyue gave me a solar powered charger for my mobile phone on my last birthday. I looked at him questioningly and he told me laughing that you never know what it will be good for. Now it would be used.

When I think of Chuyue, I miss him very much. The year before the last he had married and moved overseas with his wife. Unfortunately, since then we have had very little contact. He is now husband and father, he works a lot and has to take care of the house as well. They bought a house in need of renovation because it was the cheapest. But now they are annoyed about it. Because the costs for the renovation are already higher than they would have had to pay for a house that was ready to move in and already renovated.

Chuyue has often complained that he regrets leaving his home and wishes he would be back in Beijing. And if it were up to him, he would have come back long ago. But his wife likes it overseas and she doesn't want to leave. And because he loves her, he complies with her wish.

What I miss most of all are the many wonderful evenings he and I have spent together and talked. I couldn't believe at all, that the only good friend I've known since kindergarten suddenly wants to get married and move away. It all happened so fast that I had hardly realized it. Within three months he had met this woman, got married and went overseas with her.

Only once in between he was in Beijing. For my birthday. He came quite unexpectedly last year and told me that his daughter was born. Unfortunately he could only stay for two days because he had to go back to his family. I really miss him a lot and right now I could really need a good friend.

In two hours electricity and gas will be switched off, the telephone and internet are not working since one hour. I am well prepared so far and since my fridge was empty, I don't have to worry about perishable food.

I have been in a situation like this before. Back when my mother died. Only then I had no electricity, gas, water or telephone, because I could not pay the bills on time. From one day to the next everything was turned off and I was not prepared. And it had taken me about three months to pay the outstanding amounts and live like a normal person again.

Since I don't know how well the charger for my mobile works, I will only switch my mobile on once an hour, check if someone contacted me and then switch it off again. Also, I will only switch on the battery powered lights if I am in a room for more than a few minutes. I only have the kitchen, the bathroom and my living room, which also serves as my bedroom.

When I go to sleep tonight, for the first time in a year, I will not hear my favorite songs from Wang Yibo. I can't charge my MP3 player anywhere. But the battery is full now and if I really can't stand the silence, I will turn it on for ten minutes.

At least there was some good news today. The restaurant where I worked as a temp and delivery boy until two months ago hasn't replaced me yet and I can start working there again on Saturday. They can't pay much, but at least it's a start and my rent is covered.

Tomorrow I will go to the job center and take a look at the current job market. Maybe I will find one or the other job. Or with luck, an employer is currently looking for a personal assistant.

Since my mobile phone is still hanging on the charging station while I still have electricity, I left it switched on. But I had set it to silent and was surprised when I saw that my former boss, who had fired me last night, had tried to call me today. Unfortunately I don't know what he wanted, because when I tried to call him back, his phone was switched off. Well, I think if it was important, he would have called me again or sent me a message.

Shortly before the power is switched off, I try to reach him again. Maybe it's about my salary, which I received until yesterday. I hope he will pay it to me, because after all we are talking about a whole month's salary. However, I also have my doubts that it is about the money. Because he has my bank account details and only needs to transfer it to me.

Did he lose his job because of me and now he wants me to pay him back? If so, I'll probably be in prison for the debt. I'll never be able to pay it off. After all, Wang Yibo's management had booked him for a year. And last night he got his first assignment from them. If he loses his yearly contract because of me, it'll be really expensive for me.

Maybe I shouldn't call him and ignore his call. Let him send me a bill, then, I'll send him a copy of my bank statements!

***

When the power was turned off, it was suddenly very quiet. Although I had already disconnected my refrigerator and all other appliances from the power supply before, it only became very quiet in the apartment when the electricity was really gone. It also felt much colder than before and that even though the heating system runs on district heating and still works.

At least if I wasn't alone here and had someone to talk to, it wouldn't feel as lonely as it does now. In a moment it will be midnight and although I can't do anything else but sit in front of the window and look into the night, I don't get a wink of sleep. It's a silent night, a lonely night.

I would love to lie down in my bed, turn on my MP3 player and listen to music. Something that breaks the silence. But I think I'd better wait until I can't stand it any longer.

I look at the night sky and it looks like we're about to get snow. All day long you could smell the cold. Soon the ground will be covered with snow. And already in a few weeks, people will be running like crazy through the shops looking for Christmas presents for their loved ones.

Fortunately, I never cared much for the holidays. My mother doesn't celebrate them. Of course, when I was a little boy, I saw it differently. I was always jealous of the other children who received such beautifully wrapped presents for Christmas or their birthdays. While there wasn't even a Christmas tree at my house. My mother pretended that Christmas, Easter or my birthday were days like any other. Eventually I gave up asking for presents. I would never have gotten anything anyway.

I always wondered what it would have been like if my father hadn't left us for another woman and started a family with her? The memories of, when I came home after school and saw my father packing his suitcases in his car and telling me that he was leaving us are still clear and painful. I had just started school when he leaves us. He divorced my mother and a few months later married his 21-year-old girlfriend. She got pregnant by him and gave him a son. He had completely forgotten me.

Only when his wife left him and my father fell ill with cancer and had to die, he knew again that I existed. Suddenly he stood in front of my door and pretended that all these years in which he was not my father and also not wanted to be, had never happened. He did not even apologize to me. He just stood there and smiled and said, "Hello, son, how are you?" I didn't let him in my apartment at the time. Two days later, I got a letter from him in my mailbox. He wrote me that his wife had left him and he was all alone. He was also sick and didn't have long to live. But no apologies. Seven weeks later he was found dead outside of his house.